Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the password to see it online. So, I need to know how much it is.
Employee: You can’t pay it without his authorization. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t authorize anything, he’s incarcerated.
Employee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obituary or the death certificate.
Woman: What? He’s incarcerated! [pause] He’s in jail.
Employee: Oh.
Frederick, Maryland
CSR: I’ll need your credit card information before I can let you in at my lady parts.
1745 West Jefferson Avenue
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: looking for my credit card
Minion #1: Do you have any chocolate?
Minion #2: Nope…I have beef chunks.
Minion #1: Uhhhhh…
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Virginia
Vendor: Hey, can you do me a huge favor?
Boss: Sure, what do you need?
Vendor: I am trying to land this account, and the guy won’t sign with me unless you sleep with him.
Boss: I am not going to sleep with him! Wait a second, is he cute? Does he have lots of money?
Vendor: No.
Boss: Well, okay but just this once.
3663 S. Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Rick
Secretary: My pencil drawer is broken. It needs a new twisty nail.
Boss: Twisty nail?
Secretary: Yeah, you know, with the X-groove on top.
Boss: You mean a Phillips-head screw?
Secretary: Whatever.
118 East Whittier
St. Francis, Kansas
CSR: Could you guys not talk while I’m on the phone?…And could you not breathe either?
1650 Bobali Drive
Harrisburg, Pennsyvania
Overheard by: Erin Spohn
Biotech guy: Before you kill it, can I have the germplasm that is causing the issue?
St. Louis, Missouri
Very agitated girl to coworker: Do you have a box that can fit something seven inches long?
New York City, New York
Boss: I was asked to suggest some strong people for this open
position in another department, and I think you’d be great for the job, but if you leave me, I’ll kill you.
8200 Interstate Highway 10 W
San Antonio, Texas
Distracted CSR: Thank you for calling, my name is Aaron*, how can you help us today?
Airport Road
Scottsbluff, Nebraska
Overheard by: snorting coffee
