Eager coworker: I took a candy bar from you yesterday, but I didn’t have a dollar. And I want to take one again today.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Eager coworker: I took a candy bar from you yesterday, but I didn’t have a dollar. And I want to take one again today.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Co-worker #1: Ooh, that smells nice.
Co-worker #2: It’s salami. I got it in Czechoslovakia.
Co-worker #1: I didn’t know the Czechs were famous for salami.
Co-worker #2: They’re not. It’s Hungarian salami.
7520 Astoria Boulevard
Jackson Heights, New York
Division chief: Why are you wearing a visitor pass? What happened to your badge?
Editor: Hey, fuck you, I brought in donuts!
Division chief: How dare you talk to me like that…Is that a Boston Cream?
Pentagon, 48 North Rotary Road
Arlington, Virginia
Field claims manager: Hello? (pause) My cookies taste just fine, thank you!
Brentwood, Tennessee
Coworker #1: I got the hiccups from eating a pretzel the last time I was at a Pacers game.
Coworker #2: You got the hiccups from eating a pretzel?
Coworker #1: Yeah, all that bread… and I was drunk.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Saleswoman: There was this guy in high school that had a crush on me, and he just loved peeps. He would molest peeps all day long…
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Boss from other room: The most expensive coffee in the world, and…
Database monkey, yelling: Is that the kind that's shat out by monkeys?
Boss: No, leopards!
Austin, Texas
Female coworker #1: I really need to cut back on my caffeine.
Female coworker #2: Yeah, me too.
Female coworker #1: No, I really need to stop. Whenever I go out with my running group, I always need to pull over and shit in the bushes. Y'know, because of the caffeine.
Female coworker #2: (tries unsuccessfully to hide disgust)
Female coworker #1: What? It's totally natural.
Male coworker: Why can't there be more men in this department?
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Had to stop eating my lunch
Peon: Oh my god! Who made the coffee?
Secretary: I did. What's wrong with it?
Peon: This stuff is like liquid crack!
Secretary: You're such a sissy. You added half a cup of blueberry creamer!
Peon: Seriously, I think I'm having chest pains. Call 911!
Bangor, Michigan
Overheard by: Love my coffee
Co-worker: The first time I had a Krispy Kreme doughnut, it honestly changed my life.
1125 Amsterdam Avenue
New York, NY
