Get an Intern to Lick It Off, Just to Make Sure.

Coworker #1: Who got chocolate all over the printer?
Coworker #2: You hope it's chocolate.

London
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Ewwwwww

Posted on July 20, 2015
Canadia, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, Weirdness

Girls Can Be So Anal About Their Weights.

Female coworker, as free surprise deep-dish pizza is brought into office: Damn! Why did I choose today to bring a salad!?
Male coworker: Girl, you better toss that salad! I mean, throw it away!

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 19, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, Illinois, Meals and Snacks, Sexuality, Weirdness

Rebecca Finally Comes Out Of Her Shell.

HR, whispering: These are your nuts, but I am going to eat them…

Marlborough, Massachusetts

Posted on July 19, 2015
Body Parts, Human Resources, Massachusetts, Meals and Snacks, Possible Sexual Harassment, Words

We Tell Them Americans Are Fat Monsters. Is That What You Meant?

Trainer: In America, when our kids don’t finish their meals we tell them that there are starving kids in Africa. What do you tell them?
Clients from Kenya: [Silence]

Cafeteria, Hazina Towers, 258 Monrovia Street
Nairobi, Kenya

Posted on July 18, 2015
Africa, Diet & Weight, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Meals and Snacks, Teachers

But I Love When He Gives Me Massages

Female suit to another: I don't mind the dude with extra fingers making my tamales.

Victoria, Texas

Posted on July 18, 2015
Body Parts, Meals and Snacks, Physical Appearance, Suits, Texas

Needless to Say, I’ll Never Eat Government Cheese Again

Editrix: I remember a time at this company when someone would say there was free food, and I’d go get some. It didn’t matter what it was — I ate it because it was free.
Scheduler: Sounds like a dark time.

2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington

Overheard by: Writer guy

Posted on July 17, 2015
Coworkers, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, Washington, Writers and Editors

Why I Started Eating Lunch in My Car

Employee #1: What the fuck. This sandwich is impossible.
Employee #2: It looks like a big, gaping vagina.
Employee #1: It’s like eating out a big vagina. Look! Chunks are falling off!
Employee #2: Your sandwich has an STD! Like hooker poon.
Employee #3, holding identical sandwich missing a single bite: Well, looks like I’m done. If anyone wants my dirty vagina sandwich you’re welcome to it. Thanks for the lunch convo.

Worcester, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Kathryn

Posted on July 16, 2015
Coworkers, Massachusetts, Meals and Snacks, Metro Northeast

In That Student-Athletes Should Use Both Judiciously

Teacher: Coffee is like steroids, you know.

1600 Maryhill Drive
Green Bay, Wisconsin

Posted on July 16, 2015
General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Teachers, Wisconsin

It's Not Like We're Korean

Office girl: Yeah, so I couldn't keep my dog anymore, so my dad got rid of it.
Office guy: Really? Oh–did he get rid of it the bad way?
Office girl: He didn't eat it!
Office guy (shocked): Um… That's really not what I meant, but okay…

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on July 16, 2015
Animals, Canadia, Coworkers, Family, Meals and Snacks, Questions

Or Just Spit on Them, Like I Did With Your Soup?

Customer: Could you bring some crackers for him? (points to toddler)
Waiter: Sure, do you want me to crumble them up and throw them on the floor for him too?

Murfreesboro, Tennessee

Posted on July 14, 2015
Customers, Default, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, Questions, Tennessee, Weirdness

Meals and Snacks