Clerk #1: You can’t do nuts?
Clerk #2: Nope, nuts don’t like me.
Clerk #1: Nuts don’t like me sometimes, too.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Db’s Mom
Clerk #1: You can’t do nuts?
Clerk #2: Nope, nuts don’t like me.
Clerk #1: Nuts don’t like me sometimes, too.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Db’s Mom
Disembodied female voice: But there is cheese in China!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Anon Y. Mous
Coworker #1: Who got chocolate all over the printer?
Coworker #2: You hope it's chocolate.
London
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Ewwwwww
Female coworker, as free surprise deep-dish pizza is brought into office: Damn! Why did I choose today to bring a salad!?
Male coworker: Girl, you better toss that salad! I mean, throw it away!
Chicago, Illinois
HR, whispering: These are your nuts, but I am going to eat them…
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Trainer: In America, when our kids don’t finish their meals we tell them that there are starving kids in Africa. What do you tell them?
Clients from Kenya: [Silence]
Cafeteria, Hazina Towers, 258 Monrovia Street
Nairobi, Kenya
Female suit to another: I don't mind the dude with extra fingers making my tamales.
Victoria, Texas
Editrix: I remember a time at this company when someone would say there was free food, and I’d go get some. It didn’t matter what it was — I ate it because it was free.
Scheduler: Sounds like a dark time.
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Overheard by: Writer guy
Employee #1: What the fuck. This sandwich is impossible.
Employee #2: It looks like a big, gaping vagina.
Employee #1: It’s like eating out a big vagina. Look! Chunks are falling off!
Employee #2: Your sandwich has an STD! Like hooker poon.
Employee #3, holding identical sandwich missing a single bite: Well, looks like I’m done. If anyone wants my dirty vagina sandwich you’re welcome to it. Thanks for the lunch convo.
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Kathryn
Teacher: Coffee is like steroids, you know.
1600 Maryhill Drive
Green Bay, Wisconsin
