Supervisor (in a sing-song voice): Sex with Steven is more boring than church.
Employee #1: (humming along)
Supervisor: Sex with Steven is like…a handjob during Golden Girls.
Employee #1: Sex with Steven is like getting off on a baby carrot.
Employee #2: A baby pickle.
Employee #1: Whatever. Sex with Steven is…like an orgy with old people.
(pause)
Supervisor : You took it too far.
Hamilton
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: some girl.
Worker #1: Did you know there was a midget in our building?
Worker #2: Hiding?
Worker #1: No, working on three, asshole.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Supervisor sniffles and rubs eyes.
Brand new employee: Do you have allergies?
Supervisor: No, I am crying because you work here.
1701 16th Avenue
Gainesville, Florida
Attorney: I’m so pregnant… My husband always says, ‘Honey, you’re a whale!’ And then I tell him, ‘Shut up! You’re an immigrant!’
Admin: You should really stop saying that to him.
Attorney: Well, he is, and it’s a term of endearment! Like when I call you a dirty whore!
Hackensack, New Jersey
Receptionist: You guys.
Co-worker #1: How old are you today?
Co-worker #2: Hell, if her skin is anything like the rings of a tree…
Office: …
Co-worker #2: What?
1490 Francis Drive
Daytona Beach, Florida
Mom listening to garbled announcement over PA: Did he just ask God to collect his son at the front desk?
Daughter: Are you senile?
Whole Foods
Seattle, Washington
Irate black secretary, getting off phone: Damn bill collectors, always asking for me by my full name. Know he didn't know me either, cause none of my friends call me Patricia, and he sounded white. Lord knows that I don't have any white friends.
One Penn Plaza, Manhattan
Overheard by: The white guy who thought he was a friend
Employee: Let me ask Roxanne to void it. She always cusses me when I void and toggle.
Nashville, Tennessee
Dude to employee who just returned from Florida vacation: So were there more Mexicans in Miami or in Florida?
Employee who just returned from Florida vacation: That is the dumbest thing I have ever been asked.
Richmond West
Toronto, Canadia
