Mom listening to garbled announcement over PA: Did he just ask God to collect his son at the front desk?
Daughter: Are you senile?
Whole Foods
Seattle, Washington
Mom listening to garbled announcement over PA: Did he just ask God to collect his son at the front desk?
Daughter: Are you senile?
Whole Foods
Seattle, Washington
Irate black secretary, getting off phone: Damn bill collectors, always asking for me by my full name. Know he didn't know me either, cause none of my friends call me Patricia, and he sounded white. Lord knows that I don't have any white friends.
One Penn Plaza, Manhattan
Overheard by: The white guy who thought he was a friend
Employee: Let me ask Roxanne to void it. She always cusses me when I void and toggle.
Nashville, Tennessee
Dude to employee who just returned from Florida vacation: So were there more Mexicans in Miami or in Florida?
Employee who just returned from Florida vacation: That is the dumbest thing I have ever been asked.
Richmond West
Toronto, Canadia
Female coworker to male coworker rolling sleeves near window: What are you, He-Man?
Male coworker: I'm fucking tanning, you asshole!
Plainville, Connecticut
Female office drone, about to answer ringing phone: Please don't be an idiot, please don't be an idiot…
(a minute later, as she puts the call on hold)
Damn! Another one!
Chelmsford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: She's Not Wrong…
Janitor to coworkers: Man, these customers be crazy. The other night I was moppin’ the floor, and this bitch come up to me and said, ‘It’s not time to mop the floor yet!’ Lady, do I come to your job and smack the dick outta your mouth?
Natural Food Store breakroom
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: disgruntled employee
Middle-aged dad: Frankie Laine died.
20-ish son: Who the fuck is Frankie Laine?
Middle-aged dad: He was a great singer. He sang the theme from Blazing Saddles.
20-ish son: That was 40 fucking years ago. What did he die of, irrelevancy?
Middle-aged dad: You’re too young to appreciate anything.
20-ish son: I fucking hate it when you say that.
Blockbuster
Oceanside, California
Peon #1: Stop yelling! You’re just like my dad!
Peon #2: Yeah, except I’m not drunk and I’m not beating you.
Braintree, Massachusetts
Overheard by: not there anymore
Sales guy #1: … or you know it could send to your POP3.
Sales guy #2: Don’t pretend like you know what you’re talking about.
Sales guy #1: At least I had a term. Where’s your term, motherfucker?!
Bonner Springs, Kansas
