Office worker: That's so rude!
Receptionist: I know, right? I'm just a receptionist, but I'm a good receptionist, so… Go blow yourself…
Adelaide
Australia
Office worker: That's so rude!
Receptionist: I know, right? I'm just a receptionist, but I'm a good receptionist, so… Go blow yourself…
Adelaide
Australia
Korean chick, gasping: It smells like drunk Mexican in here!
144 South Glendale Avenue
Glendale, California
80-something man: Could you stop writing so hard? You're shaking the table.
60-something man: I can try, but I don't know what you expect me to do.
80-something man: I expect you to do more than try.
60-something man: Well, I expect you to stop making so much noise and talking to yourself!
80-something man: I can talk to myself if I want to!
60-something man: Well, I want you to shut the fuck up! Just shut the fuck up!
Orinda Public Library
Orinda, California
Sarge: Well… you could also use it literally like: “If I fucked your mother. I would be a motherfucker.”
Academy Street
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Shaye
Photographer: You can’t just leave and not tell anyone. You guys left and no one was here to help.
First assistant: Look, I’m sick of you bitching at me about this petty bullshit. Don’t talk to me unless you’ve got something important to say.
Second assistant: Mom and Dad are fighting again.
2616 Industrial Row Road
Troy, Michigan
Project manager, reading e-mail from vendor: Hey, Travis*! What the fuck is this?
Travis*: Oh, yeah, that guy. He's like the fuckin' Mr Rogers of switchgear. Always with the “have a great day!”
Project manager: Hmm…
Travis*: And I'm all “you've got $140,000 in liquidated damages, so shut the fuck up, bitch, and get me my stuff!”
Fallon, Nevada
Overheard by: trippin on DayQuil
Angry suit on cell: Get me the money or I take your ass to court. I’ll take your ass to court.
Barista: Ummm… sir? Can I get you something to drink?
Angry suit on cell: Yes, I’d like a triple mocha. [To cell.] I mean it. I’ll sue your ass, you greedy, lying Italian bastard.
Barista: Sir, would you like whipped cream on your mocha?
Angry suit on cell: Like hell you’ll get me the money by June. You were supposed to give it to me back in September. [To barista.] Extra whipped cream, thanks.
W Washington St
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Secretary: There was a black man who lived in my county. He was the only one. We called him Nigger Jim.
Co-worker: What?
Secretary: Oh, it was okay. He called himself that. He was retarded.
Co-worker: Where is he now?
Secretary: Prison.
130 East Main Street
Canton, Georgia
Boss to coworker: “Booger” is a good word. So is “butthole.” That one makes me laugh.
Ojai, California
