Manager #1: Hey, how was your weekend?
Manager #2: It was good, didn't really do anything.
Manager #3, walking into the room: I really need to get a wig because of this shark problem.
Manager #1: Uh… what?
Manager #2: I know what we were talking about, but what the fuck are you on about?
Denver, Colorado
Ex-Army: I’m dumb as a rock and I still graduated number two in my class.
Ex-Marine: That’s the Army for you.
250 South Country Fair Drive
Champaign, Illinois
Overheard by: zundian
Elderly patient: Go away, you cross-eyed slut!
Nurse: I'm not cross-eyed!
Hospital
Hillsboro, Oregon
Receptionist: Oh, excuse me!
Accountant: It's alright.
Receptionist: Hahaha… do you want to dance?
Accountant: Maybe if you were taller… and better looking.
112th Street
Seattle, Washington
Supervisor: I'll just call you Phil.
Temp called Tom*: Please don't.
Supervisor: Fine, how about I call you Lewis?
Maylands Avenue
Hertfordshire
England
Middle-aged suit #1: Rob always wears the same suit every day, no matter what.
Middle-aged suit #2: Skank.
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Has lower standards
Co-worker: Oh crap. We’re having a fire drill today? That fucking sucks. It’s too fucking cold for that shit.
Drill Captain: Yes, I know…but they are important. We need to do them at least twice a year.
Co-worker: How the fuck are they important? Did you miss fire safety week in the first grade? You don’t know what to do if there is a fire? Well, here you go: take the stairs down to the lobby and go outside away from the fire. Shit, you probably still get into strangers’ cars if they offer you candy.
3350 Riverwood Parkway
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: nicolette
Female HR, about absent coworker: I hope she's just an asshole and not dead.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Justa Temp
White executive to black employee wearing brown suit: You're extra brown today.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
