Associate: What’s up, Dave*? Did you get a promotion?
Managing director at secretary’s desk: No, I just hate the person I’ve become when I’m in my office.
452 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Associate: What’s up, Dave*? Did you get a promotion?
Managing director at secretary’s desk: No, I just hate the person I’ve become when I’m in my office.
452 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Office worker #1: Oh, the weather outside is frightful—
Office worker #2: So is your damn singing.
1501 Georgia Avenue
Wheaton, Maryland
Trader #1, wearing yarmulke: …and your business is in Brooklyn?
Trader #2: No, Brooklyn is where the yams hang out. You know, your people.
200 Vesey Street
New York, New York
Division chief: Why are you wearing a visitor pass? What happened to your badge?
Editor: Hey, fuck you, I brought in donuts!
Division chief: How dare you talk to me like that…Is that a Boston Cream?
Pentagon, 48 North Rotary Road
Arlington, Virginia
Off-duty employee: Don’t you just hate when you’re working and you say, "Have a nice day" and you don’t mean it, and the person knows you don’t mean it, but you have to say it anyway?
Cashier: Yeah, totally.
Cashier to customer: Thanks! Have a nice day!
Big-Box Store
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Sales guy: If anyone needs Larry* in the warehouse, don’t call. He’s in the dumpster.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Supervisor #1: Hey, want to go to a party? John Phillips* invited me to some KU thing.
Supervisor #2: Who's John Phillips?
Supervisor #1: He's an asshole.
Overland Park, Kansas
Movie studio art director answering phone: Okay, how about this… “Dear America, grow a fucking pair of balls. Thank you.” Bye. (hangs up)
Santa Monica, California
Peon: Oh my god! Who made the coffee?
Secretary: I did. What's wrong with it?
Peon: This stuff is like liquid crack!
Secretary: You're such a sissy. You added half a cup of blueberry creamer!
Peon: Seriously, I think I'm having chest pains. Call 911!
Bangor, Michigan
Overheard by: Love my coffee
Boss to distant customer inquiring about the weather: Holy fuck–it's rainin' harder than a cow pissin' on a flat rock.
Columbia, New Jersey
