Supervisor #1: Hey, want to go to a party? John Phillips* invited me to some KU thing.
Supervisor #2: Who's John Phillips?
Supervisor #1: He's an asshole.
Overland Park, Kansas
Supervisor #1: Hey, want to go to a party? John Phillips* invited me to some KU thing.
Supervisor #2: Who's John Phillips?
Supervisor #1: He's an asshole.
Overland Park, Kansas
Movie studio art director answering phone: Okay, how about this… “Dear America, grow a fucking pair of balls. Thank you.” Bye. (hangs up)
Santa Monica, California
Peon: Oh my god! Who made the coffee?
Secretary: I did. What's wrong with it?
Peon: This stuff is like liquid crack!
Secretary: You're such a sissy. You added half a cup of blueberry creamer!
Peon: Seriously, I think I'm having chest pains. Call 911!
Bangor, Michigan
Overheard by: Love my coffee
Boss to distant customer inquiring about the weather: Holy fuck–it's rainin' harder than a cow pissin' on a flat rock.
Columbia, New Jersey
Manager #1: Hey, how was your weekend?
Manager #2: It was good, didn't really do anything.
Manager #3, walking into the room: I really need to get a wig because of this shark problem.
Manager #1: Uh… what?
Manager #2: I know what we were talking about, but what the fuck are you on about?
Denver, Colorado
Ex-Army: I’m dumb as a rock and I still graduated number two in my class.
Ex-Marine: That’s the Army for you.
250 South Country Fair Drive
Champaign, Illinois
Overheard by: zundian
Elderly patient: Go away, you cross-eyed slut!
Nurse: I'm not cross-eyed!
Hospital
Hillsboro, Oregon
Receptionist: Oh, excuse me!
Accountant: It's alright.
Receptionist: Hahaha… do you want to dance?
Accountant: Maybe if you were taller… and better looking.
112th Street
Seattle, Washington
Supervisor: I'll just call you Phil.
Temp called Tom*: Please don't.
Supervisor: Fine, how about I call you Lewis?
Maylands Avenue
Hertfordshire
England
