Insults

Coworker: So, has the National Guard taught you head shots yet?
UPS guy: Nah, but we’re gonna start with civilians.

17 Battery Place
New York, New York

Overheard by: Kona Gallagher

Boss, holding meeting: So, you want to handle this thing?
Female employee: No.
Boss: What’s the matter? You can’t handle Harlem at night?
Female employee: No.
Boss: Faggot.
Queer employee: I’m surprised you used that word.
Boss: What? ‘Faggot’?
Queer employee: Yes.
Boss: Obviously I don’t think she’s gay. I said ‘faggot’ in the sense of, you know, a sissy. No guts.
Drama queen employee: Besides, you faggots call each other ‘faggot’ all the time. I know you do.
Queer employee: I guess.
Boss: Glad we settled that. [To female employee] Now… I expect you to take your sissy ass to Harlem and take care of this thing.

Law firm
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry

Teacher: This is David from Israel. Do you have any questions for David?
Senior student: Yes. Do you have air conditioning in your tents?

High School
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: IsraeliTexan

Associate: What’s up, Dave*? Did you get a promotion?
Managing director at secretary’s desk: No, I just hate the person I’ve become when I’m in my office.

452 5th Avenue
New York, New York

Office worker #1: Oh, the weather outside is frightful
Office worker #2: So is your damn singing.

1501 Georgia Avenue
Wheaton, Maryland

Trader #1, wearing yarmulke: …and your business is in Brooklyn?
Trader #2: No, Brooklyn is where the yams hang out. You know, your people.

200 Vesey Street
New York, New York

Division chief: Why are you wearing a visitor pass? What happened to your badge?
Editor: Hey, fuck you, I brought in donuts!
Division chief: How dare you talk to me like that…Is that a Boston Cream?

Pentagon, 48 North Rotary Road
Arlington, Virginia

Off-duty employee: Don’t you just hate when you’re working and you say, "Have a nice day" and you don’t mean it, and the person knows you don’t mean it, but you have to say it anyway?
Cashier: Yeah, totally.
Cashier to customer: Thanks! Have a nice day!

Big-Box Store
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Sales guy: If anyone needs Larry* in the warehouse, don’t call. He’s in the dumpster.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Supervisor #1: Hey, want to go to a party? John Phillips* invited me to some KU thing.
Supervisor #2: Who's John Phillips?
Supervisor #1: He's an asshole.

Overland Park, Kansas