Boss: I don’t get it. Why are these entries all wrong?
Data entry grunt: Look at the user report. Out of 75 users, 67 of them are entering the data incorrectly. We need to get those 67 in a training session so we’re all on the same page.
Boss: I’m not sure how — I’ve never had to do this before.
Data entry grunt: Right… Can we just take a moment here so you can explain to me why you’re the manager but I’m the one that does the managing?
K-V Road
Victoria, Virginia
Coworker: So, has the National Guard taught you head shots yet?
UPS guy: Nah, but we’re gonna start with civilians.
17 Battery Place
New York, New York
Overheard by: Kona Gallagher
Boss, holding meeting: So, you want to handle this thing?
Female employee: No.
Boss: What’s the matter? You can’t handle Harlem at night?
Female employee: No.
Boss: Faggot.
Queer employee: I’m surprised you used that word.
Boss: What? ‘Faggot’?
Queer employee: Yes.
Boss: Obviously I don’t think she’s gay. I said ‘faggot’ in the sense of, you know, a sissy. No guts.
Drama queen employee: Besides, you faggots call each other ‘faggot’ all the time. I know you do.
Queer employee: I guess.
Boss: Glad we settled that. [To female employee] Now… I expect you to take your sissy ass to Harlem and take care of this thing.
Law firm
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Teacher: This is David from Israel. Do you have any questions for David?
Senior student: Yes. Do you have air conditioning in your tents?
High School
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: IsraeliTexan
Associate: What’s up, Dave*? Did you get a promotion?
Managing director at secretary’s desk: No, I just hate the person I’ve become when I’m in my office.
452 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Office worker #1: Oh, the weather outside is frightful—
Office worker #2: So is your damn singing.
1501 Georgia Avenue
Wheaton, Maryland
Trader #1, wearing yarmulke: …and your business is in Brooklyn?
Trader #2: No, Brooklyn is where the yams hang out. You know, your people.
200 Vesey Street
New York, New York
Division chief: Why are you wearing a visitor pass? What happened to your badge?
Editor: Hey, fuck you, I brought in donuts!
Division chief: How dare you talk to me like that…Is that a Boston Cream?
Pentagon, 48 North Rotary Road
Arlington, Virginia
Off-duty employee: Don’t you just hate when you’re working and you say, "Have a nice day" and you don’t mean it, and the person knows you don’t mean it, but you have to say it anyway?
Cashier: Yeah, totally.
Cashier to customer: Thanks! Have a nice day!
Big-Box Store
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Sales guy: If anyone needs Larry* in the warehouse, don’t call. He’s in the dumpster.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
