Coworker, on how to lobby: Finish the whole thing with “goddammit”!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: J-Ro
Coworker, on how to lobby: Finish the whole thing with “goddammit”!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: J-Ro
Sales guy: How can you sit like that? It’s disgusting.
Information specialist: I have weak ankles. I’m sorry I disgust you.
Sales guy: You don’t disgust me, just the way you sit. Besides, you’re always making fun of my women.
Information specialist: Say, do you have one of those auto-lifts in your bedroom?
Sales guy: I see what you’re saying. Because I like big women.
Information specialist: I mean, in case you get pinned or something.
Sales guy: Funny thing is, I know how to maneuver one of those, from a previous job.
Information specialist: I’ll take that as a yes.
Washington DC
Writer: All I really want in this life is to be able to solve a sudoku, just once. Without giving up halfway through.
Designer: Way to aim low.
Writer: Well…can I be honest? What I really want is to be better than you at sudoku.
Designer: That may be aiming too high. Let’s be realistic, at least.
16430 N Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Miel Durand
CEO, to no one in particular: So we're talking to this fucking prick up in Alaska, and I keep hearing this whistling. So I say “hey man, what the fuck is that noise? Turns out it's his fucking parrot, so I tell him to kill the fucker. Who has parrots?
Portland, Oregon
CSR: This is my senior picture in high school.
Manager: You were a cheerleader?
CSR: Yeah.
Manager: What happened?
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Overheard by: El Gee
Coworker in response to email she just got: Oh my god, Sandy*, you stupid whore.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: other side of the cube
IT guy #1: Is that you beeping?
IT guy #2: No, I thought it was you.
IT guy #3: Fucking things, stop beeping!
Palmerston North
New Zealand
Boss to coworker #1: You know, you have quite the filthy mouth! Filthy, filthy!
Coworker #2 to boss: Like you don't!
Boss to coworker #2: Fuck you!
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Tech guy on phone: It doesn't work? You let Jeff touch it?! You let Darth Moron touch it!
Time Warner Cable Offices
New York
Nurse #1: Oh my god, what’s wrong with your face?!
Nurse #2: Um… Nothing.
Nurse #1: … Oh.
Kansas
Overheard by: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock
