Employee #1: You don’t like Safari?
Employee #2: No, man, all those popups…
Employee #1: Popups are great. Firefox is douche.
42-22 22nd Street
Long Island City, New York
Overheard by: Aaron
Employee #1: You don’t like Safari?
Employee #2: No, man, all those popups…
Employee #1: Popups are great. Firefox is douche.
42-22 22nd Street
Long Island City, New York
Overheard by: Aaron
Office worker #1: Do we need to talk about how to handle a psychiatric emergency with her?
Office worker #2: If it happens, I'm shutting my door on her crazy ass.
Atlanta, Georgia
Coworker: Derek’s* married? To a WOMAN?!
165 West 46th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Beth
VP: What's the name of the company I'm thinking of? We've got a job with them.
Engineer: Starts with…?
VP: A. A something. Aaaaaaa…
Engineer: Ass-fuckers anonymous?
VP, quietly: Ass-fuckers anonymous… Ass…
Engineer: Yeah, AFA, but trust me, it's not that. I just made that up.
VP, very loudly: Ass-fuckers anonymous!?
Engineer: Dude, can you not yell “ass-fuckers anonymous” when I'm in your office?
Paterson, New Jersey
Office girl #1: I wonder where’s Karen’s* been.
Office girl #2: The bitch convention.
Office girl #1: She’s probably the keynote speaker.
Jackson Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: another karen* hater
iPod chick #1: I told Lauren* to look hot today, we’ll see…
iPod chick #2: I know, it’s so hard for her. She can only look hot like once a month.
Waltham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Joe
Female CSR #1: Did you get a brownie?
Slightly-larger female CSR: No, I can’t leave my desk and work to get a brownie. That would be brushing off my duties.
Female CSR #1: Well, I’m not a fat person. I wouldn’t know.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Co-worker: She was like, “Nigga, just drop me off at daycare and go about your business.”
11100 USA Parkway
Fishers, Indiana
Overheard by: minkey
Office manager, on the phone: Which one of Mommy’s boyfriends beat you badly enough as a child to turn you into the bitter, empty, hollow shell of a human being you are today?
Supervisor, to trainee: See? That’s why we have to answer the phone quickly in this office: to keep the managers from picking up the phone. Ever.
221 Corporate Gateway Boulevard
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Geobaldi
Coworker, after conversation with boss: A fetus could come up with better ideas.
Melville, New York
