Female CSR #1: Did you get a brownie?
Slightly-larger female CSR: No, I can’t leave my desk and work to get a brownie. That would be brushing off my duties.
Female CSR #1: Well, I’m not a fat person. I wouldn’t know.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Co-worker: She was like, “Nigga, just drop me off at daycare and go about your business.”
11100 USA Parkway
Fishers, Indiana
Overheard by: minkey
Office manager, on the phone: Which one of Mommy’s boyfriends beat you badly enough as a child to turn you into the bitter, empty, hollow shell of a human being you are today?
Supervisor, to trainee: See? That’s why we have to answer the phone quickly in this office: to keep the managers from picking up the phone. Ever.
221 Corporate Gateway Boulevard
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Geobaldi
Coworker, after conversation with boss: A fetus could come up with better ideas.
Melville, New York
Boss lady: How was your weekend?
Top employee: Well, I spent Sunday morning in the hospital because…
Boss lady, interrupting: Was it because you're a cracked-out whore?
Forest Grove, Oregon
Overheard by: Jessi-ca
Older worker: You know what they used to call those shoes when I was your age?
Peon wearing ballet flats: Um, I’m not sure I want to know…
Older worker: Slut shoes. You could always tell which girls were easy because they wore shoes just like that.
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: wondering what she’d think of my 3-inch heels
Employee #1: I can’t believe they made that bitch Employee of the Month.
Employee #2: Me, neither.
Employee #1: I’m going to the general manager.
Employee #2: Yeah, I’ll back you up.
Later.
Boss: Who the hell told her that was a good idea to come see me?
Employee #2: I don’t know, I tried to stop her.
999 South Main Street
Salt Lake City, Utah
Thin coworker girl, about carrot cake: I'll have seconds.
Middle-aged coworker woman: Your tapeworm wants another piece?
1000 Exposition
Los Angeles, California
Old man: Excuse me.
CD store employee: Yes.
Old man: Where do you keep your Negro music?
CD store employee: What?
Old man: Your Negro music!
Grandson: He means rap music.
CD store employee: Oh, over there.
1st Avenue North
Seattle, Washington
Cubicle drone #1 (while physically beating cubicle drone #2): You could be replaced by a rubber tree plant!
Bowmanville
Ontario
Canadia
