Woman #1: I’m so upset about my aunt.
Woman #2: I know, but there is nothing you can do now.
Woman #1: It was so sudden. She’s never going to be herself again. I can see it already.
Woman #2: That might be something to be thankful for.
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Red
Mental patient #1: I like oxygen.
Mental patient #2: Me too.
Mental patient #1: Do you have any M&Ms?
Mental patient #2: No, do you?
Mental patient #1: No. I just thought I'd ask.
Wichita Falls, Texas
Overheard by: I love my job
Peon #1: Alison just asked me how we get a washing-up brush for the kitchen.
Peon #2: I have put a request through CAFM, so hopefully they will order one for us.
Peon #1: Can you order a little holder for it, too?
Peon #2: Hmmmm, I will put a request in and see what facilities say.
Peon #1: Thanks!
Peon #2: Sorry, but what will the brush be used for?
Reading
Berkshire
England
Assistant: Can I go home sick?
Boss: Why?
Assistant: I ate too much gum.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: OMG
Girl: I was in the meeting today and I thought to myself -hmm, I think I smell like carcass…
Parkplace and Gamble
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: cubsicle
Accounting #1: So I'm not sure how she got the idea to put ham on the fan blades. Maybe tv? I don't think ham is really salient to most people. But I can see tying something up there to watch it spin around…
Accounting #2: Maybe some shiny paper or something like that, I guess.
Accounting #1: Or headless Barbie dolls.
Accounting #2: Sometimes I wonder about you.
Accounting #1: Headless Barbie dolls wrapped in ham.
Omaha, Nebraska
Court officer speaking to almost-admitted attorneys awaiting ceremony: And when you stand, don’t lock your knees or stand up straight, just relax and kind of hunch over, we don’t want anyone to collapse — it has happened before, and it is like attorney dominoes…
45 Monroe Place
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Lans
New supervisor: I'm not sure how to code one of my employees. She's been out for over a week with a medical condition.
HR assistant: You should talk to Dave*. He's the STD expert.
New supervisor: It's not that kind of a condition…
HR assistant: I meant “Short Term Disability.”
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Overheard by: Jeannie
Frat boy to another who is wiping something off his shoe: At least you stepped in dog shit!
Walking into Bobby Bowden Stadium in Tallahassee for FSU/NC State football game.
CSR: Sir? Sir, are you there?
Customer: Oh, I dozed off! Sorry I do that sometimes.
Later in the call…
CSR: Is that okay, sir?…Sir, are you still there?…Sir? did you fall asleep again? Sir?
Customer: Why would you ask me if I fell asleep?
5767 West Sunrise Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: cubiclejunky
