Assistant: Can I go home sick?
Boss: Why?
Assistant: I ate too much gum.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: OMG
Assistant: Can I go home sick?
Boss: Why?
Assistant: I ate too much gum.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: OMG
Girl: I was in the meeting today and I thought to myself -hmm, I think I smell like carcass…
Parkplace and Gamble
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: cubsicle
Accounting #1: So I'm not sure how she got the idea to put ham on the fan blades. Maybe tv? I don't think ham is really salient to most people. But I can see tying something up there to watch it spin around…
Accounting #2: Maybe some shiny paper or something like that, I guess.
Accounting #1: Or headless Barbie dolls.
Accounting #2: Sometimes I wonder about you.
Accounting #1: Headless Barbie dolls wrapped in ham.
Omaha, Nebraska
Court officer speaking to almost-admitted attorneys awaiting ceremony: And when you stand, don’t lock your knees or stand up straight, just relax and kind of hunch over, we don’t want anyone to collapse — it has happened before, and it is like attorney dominoes…
45 Monroe Place
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Lans
New supervisor: I'm not sure how to code one of my employees. She's been out for over a week with a medical condition.
HR assistant: You should talk to Dave*. He's the STD expert.
New supervisor: It's not that kind of a condition…
HR assistant: I meant “Short Term Disability.”
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Overheard by: Jeannie
Frat boy to another who is wiping something off his shoe: At least you stepped in dog shit!
Walking into Bobby Bowden Stadium in Tallahassee for FSU/NC State football game.
CSR: Sir? Sir, are you there?
Customer: Oh, I dozed off! Sorry I do that sometimes.
Later in the call…
CSR: Is that okay, sir?…Sir, are you still there?…Sir? did you fall asleep again? Sir?
Customer: Why would you ask me if I fell asleep?
5767 West Sunrise Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: cubiclejunky
Lady, waiting in line at fast food place: What are your milkshakes made out of?
Cute girl serving: Ah, milk.
Lady: Oh. I'm allergic to milk, can I get it without the milk?
Cute girl: It's a milkshake, and we're a burger joint, we don't have the technology to separate milk from milk.
Lady: Oh, I see. But can I get it without milk?
Cute girl: Sure. Is juice okay, then?
North Lethbridge
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Allestra
Cube imprisoned evil overlord: Eeeeww! Every time I see you touch that handle it just makes me want to bathe you in hand sanitizer. Um… I mean bathe your hands? in sanitizer.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Employee: I just flew in from Spain yesterday, I’m totally jetlagged.
Department head: Spain? Is that in a different time zone?
4220 N. St. Louis Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
