Male Co-worker: Are my ears bleeding?
Female Co-worker: I didn’t know I was that loud. I’m sorry. I had the volume down.
Male Co-worker: It’s just your voice, you’re loud. I have excellent hearing. Put it this way, I can hear a snake piss on cotton.
5 Times Square
New York, NY
Overheard by: Tamika J.
Woman #1: I feel bad he’s stuck talking to her. I feel like I should rescue him.
Woman #2: Oh, they deserve each other; they’re both full of shit.
Woman #1: But his is a different kind of shit.
Woman #2: Yeah; his is bull, hers is horse.
175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
Female suit: This chair is too high. My feet barely touch the floor. I should order a step stool from the Office Supplies Department. Do you have the catalog?
Male suit: They have stool samples in there?
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Engineer #1: What the hell were you thinking when you wrote this code?
Engineer #2: Boobs.
Engineer #1: Huh?!
Engineer #2: Truthfully, it’s likely I was thinking about boobs.
Columbia, Maryland
Supervisor: Isn’t it just great how college kids today have such a mastery over electronics but not even the remotest grasp on the English language?
19555 West Bluemound Road
Waukesha, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Mike
IT to coworker: No, I am not taking my muffin into the bathroom!
Carbondale, Illinois
Office manager, on the phone: Which one of Mommy’s boyfriends beat you badly enough as a child to turn you into the bitter, empty, hollow shell of a human being you are today?
Supervisor, to trainee: See? That’s why we have to answer the phone quickly in this office: to keep the managers from picking up the phone. Ever.
221 Corporate Gateway Boulevard
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Geobaldi
Girl #1: There is so much secondhand smoke here that it’s going to kill us eventually.
Girl #2: That’s for sure!
Girl #1: It’s okay, though. I have life insurance.
Local bar
Burlington, North Carolina
Overheard by: Bartender Snickering Nearby
Kindergarten boy: Mrs. Jones*, I need to go to the bathroom.
Teacher: No, you just went.
Kindergarten boy: Please, Mrs. Jones*. I gotta go.
Teacher: No, you were told you had to wait.
Kindergarten boy: But I have to go now! My marbles are itchy!
Manitoba
Canadia
Video Game Developer: Why am I naked and corrupted?
24742 SE 28th Place
Seattle, Washington
