Assistant: Where are all the great shoe sales? I mean, after September 11th there were some great sales!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Can’t believe she still works here
Assistant: Where are all the great shoe sales? I mean, after September 11th there were some great sales!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Can’t believe she still works here
Employee: First they stuff us with pie, then they expect us to work.
South Rainier
Seattle, Washington
Cube dude: I don’t mean this to be harsh, but, you know, the Talmud wasn’t exactly written just to justify your fashion choices.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Cheerleader: It sucks that Halloween is on a Monday this year.
Football player: Dude. I hate when they do that to me.
19501 Outer Drive
Dearborn, Michigan
Help desk #1: The staplers are hopelessly broken this time.
Help desk #2: We spend all our time fixing the staplers. Perhaps hwe should just call ourselves Stapler User Services instead of Computer User Services.
3203 SE Woodstock Boulevard
Portland, Oregon
Female staffer #1: You know what David* said to me? He said, “In case you know anyone who’s having a vasectomy, I have some advice for you to give them.” And then he told me about how they gave him a jock strap to wear after his surgery to keep everything in place, but that the one they gave him was too small. And I said, “David! I don’t want to hear any more!” But he kept talking about how uncomfortable it was to wear a jock strap that was too small for him after having his vasectomy. I was afraid he was going to start describing exactly how his balls were getting squeezed.
Female staffer #2: See, that’s a perfect example of how David is always so passive. If he weren’t so passive, he’d just say, “I want everyone to know I’m hung like a horse.”
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Coworker: When you were younger, growing up in Mexico, you hated America because they had everything. You guys had everything. Then you grew up and you realized “the Joneses” were living right next to you and your parents were just poor.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Worker #1: The pollen is so bad, this morning I coughed up a flower.
Worker #2: Oh my god, are you serious?
Worker #1: Uh…no.
6355 MetroWest Boulevard
Orlando, Florida
Contractor: …so we should definitely take a good look at him. I
don’t want to snowball with more mess.
Specialist: …Um…Yeah.
12443 Olive Boulevard
St. Louis, Missouri
Office drone: Why is everyone staring at me?
Office chick: You're fun to look at.
Mesquite, Nevada
