Manager on phone: So I’m going to ask you a question, and you’re going to hate me for not knowing the answer. [pause] That was below the belt. [pause] It’s child protection. [pause] Annnyways, I was wondering…
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Grunt: I don’t like Vegas. Actually, I liked Vegas when the mob ran it. Now it’s like Disneyland with hookers.
402 Watertower Circle
Colchester, Vermont
Overheard by: Bastian
Student: This place is nice.
Employee: Yeah, it’s really peaceful until the homeless guys look at porn on the Internet and they have to call the cops.
Student: Does that happen a lot?
Employee: Yeah. What else do they have to do?
Law Library, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
CSR: Today needs to be over. I’m so seriously ready to slit my wrists–
The phone rings.
CSR: Good afternoon. This is [Nelly], how can I help you? Oh…hi! How are you doing?…Oh, I’m great! Mm-hmm, yes, of course! I just have to pull up your previous order…Oh, really? Oh! Well, that’s okay!…No, really!…Oh, stop it! Ha, ha! Okay, well thanks for calling anyway! Yes…Thank you, I will! You also, okay? M’kay, bye!…Jesus. Okay, so, what the fuck was I saying again?
950 Tower Lane
Foster City, California
QA guy #1: So, there’s a bunch of shit going down with the shit. I was going to try and finish that shit, but then all of this shit came up. Can’t they get the shit to work? I mean, get your fucking shit together. You know what I mean?
QA guy #2: I do. I totally do, man. It’s worrisome.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Cube Guru
Woman with bandaged finger: Ever since I cut my finger, it’s been so difficult doing stuff…typing, getting dressed, eating…
Woman with missing hand: I can’t even imagine.
1515 Broadway
New York, NY
Dev: But I have wanted tabbed browsing for seven fucking years!
One Microsoft Way
Redmond, Washington
Worker: Why do professional people talk so loud in an office environment? You know what I love? “Kitty-cats!” shouted down three offices.
175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
Principal: I don’t want the upgrade if it means I have to learn something new. I don’t ever want to have to learn anything new.
1123 Broadway
New York, NY
