Male co-worker: That’s the thing about black people. They’ll just sing their favorite song out loud. Like they don’t care that they’re in public.
Female co-worker: Well, that’s because they have better voices than we do.
1000 Techwood
Atlanta, Georgia
Coworker: I have one word for this project: absolutely ridiculous.
111 Huntington
Boston, Massachusetts
Nurse on phone: I’m sorry, she said she doesn’t want to talk to you… Uh huh… Well, we can’t make a patient talk to someone on the phone… I’m sorry, that’s what she said. You’re her husband, right? Oh, you’re her mother! Just a moment, please.
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Staffer: I understand you want to complete a living will.
Patient: That’s right.
Staffer: Do you know what this means?
Patient: Yes, it means I don’t want to be kept alive if I’m in a persistent vegetarian state.
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Coworker #1: Hey, can you cover my shift next week?
Coworker #2: Why? Where are you going?
Coworker #1: My friend’s boyfriend is graduating from pharmacology school.
Coworker #2: Ew. Who would want to be a farmer?
3900 Hillsboro Road
Nashville, Tennessee
Employee #1: How many innings are in a baseball game? Eight? Ten?
Employee #2: Are you serious?
Employee #1: Yeah. C’mon, how many?
Employee #2: Eight. Why do you want to know?
Employee #1: I’m talking to this girl and I just told her she’s struck out at the bottom of the ninth, and then I wrote, “even though there’s only eight innings in baseball.” Ha ha.
Employee #2: Did you send the instant message?
Employee #1: Yeah.
Employee #2: There’s nine innings in baseball.
215 Glenbrook Road
Storrs, Connecticut
Overheard by: trying to contain laughter
Employee #1: What are we collecting for?
Employee #2: Shelly* crashed her car and we are helping her out.
Employee #1: What? Has she never heard of insurance? Uh uh, I ain’t putting in!
1046 George Town
Grand Cayman
Overheard by: not throwing in either
Woman: Oh, Survivor Evening? Is that, like, for people who watch Survivor? Oh, breast cancer…cool!
6710 Clayton Road
Richmond Heights, Missouri
Overheard by: Transient Girl
Guy: Should I put it in the folder?
Girl: Wait, I’m not sure. Should I take it out of the folder?
Guy: Um, maybe I should just put it in the folder.
Girl: No, I should take it out of the folder…
Guy: But, what if we need it in the folder?
127 Marina Drive
La Crosse, Wisconsin
Coworker #1: Have you been to Joey’s*? It’s awesome.
Coworker #2: Not in a long time. Not since it was a deli.
Coworker #1: Oh, you should go. They have those big hooba wooba pipes…Hooba booba…Hooba hooba pipes?
Coworker #2: Do you mean hookas?
Coworker #1: Yeah.
330 Garden Street
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Violet White
