Woman: Oh, Survivor Evening? Is that, like, for people who watch Survivor? Oh, breast cancer…cool!
6710 Clayton Road
Richmond Heights, Missouri
Overheard by: Transient Girl
Woman: Oh, Survivor Evening? Is that, like, for people who watch Survivor? Oh, breast cancer…cool!
6710 Clayton Road
Richmond Heights, Missouri
Overheard by: Transient Girl
Guy: Should I put it in the folder?
Girl: Wait, I’m not sure. Should I take it out of the folder?
Guy: Um, maybe I should just put it in the folder.
Girl: No, I should take it out of the folder…
Guy: But, what if we need it in the folder?
127 Marina Drive
La Crosse, Wisconsin
Coworker #1: Have you been to Joey’s*? It’s awesome.
Coworker #2: Not in a long time. Not since it was a deli.
Coworker #1: Oh, you should go. They have those big hooba wooba pipes…Hooba booba…Hooba hooba pipes?
Coworker #2: Do you mean hookas?
Coworker #1: Yeah.
330 Garden Street
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Violet White
Employee #1: I saw you run to the bathroom. So I followed you in and heard you frantically trying to put the protective cover on the seat.
Employee #2: Yeah. And?
Employee #1: Then I shut the light off.
Employee #2: Oh that was you? Well just so you know, I’m a master at pooping in the dark.
6255 Sunset Boulevard
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Ron
Patient: Can I have your home number? I promise not to call you all the time. Only in case of an emergency.
Doctor: Um, I don’t give out my home number. If you are having an emergency, you need to go to the emergency room.
Patient: But they don’t know my medical history!
Doctor: But I live two hours from you. You’ll receive medical care quicker by simply going to the emergency room. Besides, all your medical history can be pulled up on their computer.
Patient: So….you’re not going to give me your number?
616 Court Street
Oberlin, Louisiana
Overheard by: Vicky
Administrator: Here’s my theory on drunk driving: People get caught drunk driving because they never learned how to drive drunk when they were kids.
1445 Ross Avenue
Dallas, Texas
Cashier #1: It’s my ten month anniversary today!
Cashier #2: That’s a long time.
Cashier #1: I know, half of a year!
640 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Interviewer: Tell me about a time when you had to decide something quickly.
Applicant: When I quit my last job. Just one day, I’d had enough.
Interviewer: So…you didn’t give notice.
Applicant: It’s not like they didn’t know it was coming. They laid off a bunch of people later.
Interviewer: What do you think are your greatest strengths?
Applicant: I’m reliable. Very dependable.
301 Industrial Boulevard
Conway, Arkansas
Overheard by: Denise
Employee #1: I was on time every day this week.
Employee #2: What? No way. You? Please, you’re always late.
Employee #1: No, seriously.
Employee #2: Dude, weren’t you late today? You’re always late on Fridays.
Employee #1: I got here at 8:35 but normally I show up at 9am, so I wasn’t late today.
Employee #2: 8:35 is late. Everyone else shows up at 8.
Employee #1: I have to take my daughter to school so that’s why I’m typically late…but um…her school’s out now for the summer so…yeah, I just forgot to set my alarm.
3320 West Cheryl Drive
Phoenix, Arizona
Employee: I’ve never traveled for work before. Is there a per diem, or…?
Boss: Well, there’s an allowance of ten dollars a day for breakfast, fifteen dollars a day for lunch, and twenty-five dollars a day for dinner. So, fifty dollars a day. But save all your receipts, you have to turn all of them in to get credit for what you spend.
Employee: So if I ate a banana for breakfast and a banana for lunch…could I go to a Braves game at night?
Boss: [squinting] Uh…
Employee: Okay, how about this: a banana for breakfast, a banana for lunch, and prostitutes in the hotel room?
Boss: You know, why don’t you go to a Braves game?
Employee: That sounds great, thank you!
12920 SE 38th Street
Bellevue, Washington
