Coworker #1: Rio de Janeiro just won the vote to host the 2016 Olympic Games.
Coworker #2: Is that like a perfume?
Charles City, Iowa
Coworker #1: Rio de Janeiro just won the vote to host the 2016 Olympic Games.
Coworker #2: Is that like a perfume?
Charles City, Iowa
Physician: What can you tell me about this X-ray?
Student: It’s a male pelvis with two fractures.
Physician: It’s shaped like a male pelvis, but it’s not.
Student: How can you tell?
Physician: The lack of a penis outline on the X-ray helps.
Emergency Room, University of Kansas Hospital
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: Stifling the Laugh
Customer: I would like a cheeseburger but with no cheese.
Cashier: So you want a simple hamburger?
Customer: No! A cheeseburger with no cheese!
Fast food restaurant
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: burger lover
Client: I’ve talked to some of these people applying online. They’re a little scary — it’s not like they’re Menses candidates.
Portland, Oregon
Male exec: I won’t be able to be at the pitch. My grandfather died.
Female exec: Oh my God, I’m so sorry.
Male exec: It’s okay, I still have my other grandfather.
Female exec: That’s why you have two children, right? If one of them dies, you’ve still got the other one, so it’s not so sad.
Dreamworks, 100 Universal Plaza
Universal City, California
Overheard by: Shrek
Suit #1: Dude, you should have a sex room in your new place!
Suit #2: I do. It’s my bedroom.
Suit #1: No, I mean one room that is just wall-to-wall matresses and shit.
45 Wall Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Trey Givens
Erring employee: Shit, I screwed it up.
Naive employee: Don't worry. If it's screwable, I've done it.
Lakewood, Colorado
Guy with wallet-chain and flannel shirt: The only difference between me and Kurt Cobain is I don’t have a heroin addiction. Or a shotgun.
3rd floor, Accenture building
Austin, Texas
Secretary: I’ve been meaning to ask you a question.
Lawyer: Sure, what’s up?
Secretary: So you’re Indian, right? I’m going to an Indian funeral today. And I’m not sure how to act.
Lawyer: Well…you’re not supposed to laugh.
Secretary: But they’re so Indian that they’re going to have her cremated.
Lawyer: That doesn’t mean you can laugh. Also wear all white.
1425 K Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: callmeahab
Drone #1: Crikey Moses! Who the hell wants their picture taken in the Mastermind chair?
Drone #2: Crikey Moses?! You need some better swear words!
201 Wood Lane
London, England
