Office crony #1: Did you hear about the mid-air collision in California?
Office crony #2: Briefly, why?
Office crony #1: I wonder if there’s anyone out in California I don’t like?
Office crony #2: I don’t think so.
Office crony #1: Just my luck…
West Cummings Park
Woburn, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Chuckie Choo
Receptionist, staring at a door: This door confuses me.
Main Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Emily
Manager: We’re getting married in Gibraltar.
Designer: Oh, that sounds nice.
Manager: You know, you’ve heard of Gibraltar. Rocks… Monkeys… Except I don’t like monkeys. I don’t want monkeys in my wedding!
UNC-Chapel Hill
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Female clerk: Hey *Mark, you don’t sound like you want to be here today.
Male clerk: And you want to be here today?
Female clerk: You want me to rub it off for ya?
Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Db’s Mom
Co-worker to boss: You wanna hear how self-centered I am?
Boss: Please!
Los Angeles, California
Man: Is Murphy* a man? Or a woman?
Woman: Does it matter?
Man: Um yeah. I was going to ask Terry out, and the shape of his? Her? Genitals rather matters to me.
Woman: Bigot.
Church in Victoria
British Columbia
Canadia
Coworker #1: Yeah, I went to Egypt but I didn’t really like it that much because it was so commercialized.
Coworker #2: I felt the same way about Israel… It was like there were just too many gift shops.
Ex-army coworker: I went to Iraq. It wasn’t commercialized at all.
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Emily
Coworker #1, returning from vacation: Has something changed in your psyche since I was here last?
Coworker #2: No, I’ve just been chewing gum recently.
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Male peon: You feeling better today, Jim*?
Jim: Yes.
Male peon: Well, you look a lot better. We were worried about you yesterday. You were turning white.
Jim: Yeah, that’s not a good sign when you’re a black man.
Newport News, Virginia
Manager #1: These mood swings are driving me crazy. Everyone in my house is afraid of me. They are all walking on eggshells.
Manager #2: Menopause rocks.
365 West Passaic Street
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: cubicle right outside
