Navy commander to his three-year old who’s locked herself in the connecting bathroom again: Susie*, open this door at once! I command you!
Visiting officer’s quarters, Tachikawa Air Force base
Tokyo
Japan
Navy commander to his three-year old who’s locked herself in the connecting bathroom again: Susie*, open this door at once! I command you!
Visiting officer’s quarters, Tachikawa Air Force base
Tokyo
Japan
Young boy: Mom! We’ve been in line for a really long time!!
Mother: No, not really. Stop complaining.
Young boy: Yes we have! We got here at 10:00, and it’s almost 12:30!!
Mother: Damn the public school system for teaching you how to tell time.
Petco
Enfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Dark_Kitty
Dad: So, I need a male audio cable and a video cable with two female connections on each end.
Eight-year-old: Daddy…I thought males and females were like boys and girls. I'm confused.
Dad: Um…don't worry about it.
RadioShack
California
Overheard by: SK
Collegiate on cell: Hey, Mom, you’ll be proud of me — I actually bought books at Borders — to read!
Barnes & Noble, Center City
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: book stacker
New mother: You would not believe all the stuff that keeps coming out of your body.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Patient #1 to family member on Skype: Yeah, they're taking real good care of me. (to nurse) Say hi to my sister.
(nurse leans in to computer screen, waves hello)
Family member on Skype: Is he being a good patient?
Patient #2, on other side of curtain: He's cryin' like a little bitch!
Stony Brook Hospital
Long Island, New York
Employee: So, I know that we don't normally do this, but my father in law is sick and I need to telecommute from here. Is that okay?
Boss on speaker phone: Well, I guess telecommuting is acceptable for this week, but try not to let the situation go on much longer.
Employee to husband after, hanging up the phone: I think he just told me to kill your father.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: I don't know that I have that kind of power!
Trainee: So, can you tell me why your mother can’t walk?
Daughter: Her leg was amputated, and she can’t walk on her prostate.
Home office
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: T
Female executive VP on phone son: I'm not giving you money today. I'm not giving it to you. I'm not giving it to you. I'm not giving it to you. (pause) Michael, did you hear what I just said? I'm not giving you any money today. I'm. Not. Giving. You. Any. Money. Today. (pause) I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry. (pause) Yes, I'm serious. I gave you $50 yesterday and I said it had to last you until Friday. You're 21. You're 21. Get a job. (pause) I'm not giving you money today. Okay, bye. (pause) I love you too.
Montclair, New Jersey
Exasperated boss, on phone with son: Oh, let's just leave Jesus out of this, okay?
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
