Lawyer: Put your John Hancock on these documents, please.
Daughter: You sure this is legal? I mean, with me being your kid and all?
Lawyer: It is very legal. Far more legal than any of the drugs you have experimented with on my credit card.
Broad Street
Louisville, Georgia
Coworker, on phone with husband: Well, I think they fell out of my… (pause) That's alright, there's a lot of shit to clean up.
Iowa City, Iowa
Overheard by: Shocked and Awed
Dad: Son, do not be inept when you grow up.
Son: What is “inept”?
Dad: Ridiculously bad at your job.
Son: No promises there, dad.
Washington, Illinois
Overheard by: Laura
Co-Worker: If you’re happy and you know it…?
Co-Worker’s 2-year-old daughter: …don’t touch a knife!
1065 Williams Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: manda b
Mom listening to garbled announcement over PA: Did he just ask God to collect his son at the front desk?
Daughter: Are you senile?
Whole Foods
Seattle, Washington
Woman on phone to daughter, asking who sent her home to change her “inappropriate” outfit at school: Were they fat people?
Nashville, Tennessee
Super-rich boss’s wife: So you know how we always call my husband God?
Employees at luncheon: [Puzzled silence]
Super-rich boss’s wife: Seriously, you know how we call him God?
Employees at luncheon: [Silence]
Super-rich boss’s wife: Well, I bought him a horse! And we’re going to call it Jesus! Isn’t that hilarious?
2725 Henry Street
Augusta, Georgia
Mother: Why did you check “female” on that?
Son: Aw, shit!
Department of Health and Mental Hygiene
125 Worth Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Jean-Luc Picard
Supervisor's son: Do you pay them to be here?
Supervisor: Sometimes it feels like it.
Golden Valley, Minnesota
Overheard by: Bill
Assistant: So how is your daughter?
Boss's wife: She's fine. She made honor roll. She's getting fat…
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Office Drone #3784
