Shop worker: We assure you ma'am, none of our products contain any form of radioactive waste.
Customer: Well, I won't buy any then!
Tesco
South Wales
Overheard by: Wait, what?
Shop worker: We assure you ma'am, none of our products contain any form of radioactive waste.
Customer: Well, I won't buy any then!
Tesco
South Wales
Overheard by: Wait, what?
Agent: Can you tell me what color the small square or circular sticker is on the back of your phone?
Customer: I had cervical surgery this week. My neck hurts.
Vermillion, South Dakota
Overheard by: Haley
Boss: You look nice today.
Employee: Thanks, I wore a bra.
Bystander: Wait, what?
Employee, demonstrating: See… Look, the girls are free and easy today. They can do cirles too. Too bad I don’t have any tassles.
Elm Street
Coalinga, California
Overheard by: Still losing the TMI Olympics
Employee: What's that on your head? (pause) Oh, a hat.
Stanford University, California
Trashy girl: What time do you close? 10?
Laundromat owner: 9:30.
Trashy girl: Well… Could you like, stay open until 10? So I could get my clothes?
Laundromat owner: (blank stare)
Trashy girl: I mean, could you just, like, not close with my clothes still in here?
Laundromat owner: Lady, as soon as that clock hits 9:30, we out of here.
Queens, New York
Coworker: Did you know Tom* was fired?
Boss: I guess he was bolivious to the the fact he just didn't have the education to keep up with the workload.
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: stuckinacube
Boss: There’s pizza in the back room for everyone in appreciation of your hard work!
Employee #1: Hey, Jen*, can you save me a slice? I can’t leave my desk right now.
Employee #2: Sure, I’ll bring two back. There should be enough for two slices per person.
Employee #3: You know, I work harder than the rest of you all combined; therefore, I should get the most fuckin’ pizza. Does anyone else here work as hard as me? I don’t fuckin’ think so. So that means that I get more pizza. I don’t want to see anyone eating more fuckin’ pizza than me.
Employee #2: So, Meredith*, what kind of pizza did you want?
Employee #1: Um, I think I’ll just… stick with my yogurt… Thanks.
570 Worcester Road
Framingham, Massachusetts
Female shop assistant: Sorry sir, but you'll have to stand outside. These changing rooms are for women only.
Cocky Spaniard: So?
Female shop assistant: You're a man.
Cocky Spaniard: But I'm gay!
Female shop assistant: That's not really my problem, sir. Please wait outside.
Massimo Dutti Store
Dubai
Overheard by: Keep Digging!
Male boss to female employee: Hey, did you get all that done?
Female employee: Yep, just finished.
Boss: Wow! You da man! I mean… You're not a man… But you da man! You da equivalent of da man!
Female employee: Uh… Okay.
Boss, with no enthusiasm: You da man…(walks away)
Bellingham, Washington
Employee: The ballerina broke the toilet.
1228 Egypt Road
Oaks, Pennsylvania
