Or, Like, a Highchair…But Low!

Employee, looking at a lawn chair: It reminds me of a wheelchair…without wheels!

Kingston
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on January 20, 2015
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Employees, General Idiocy

Which Explains Why I'm Working Here.

Boss, reading random facts to assistant: A turtle can breathe through its butt!
Assistant: I may not inhale, but I certainly exhale from there.

Coronado, California

Posted on January 19, 2015
Animals, Body Parts, Bosses, California, Employees, Sensory Experiences

Another Long Day at the Office.

Female cube-dweller, shouting to male cube-dweller: Have you got a long one?!

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: confused but amused

Posted on January 19, 2015
Australia, Body Parts, Employees, Questions, Sexuality

My Baby's Practically Naked Without Polish

Visitor from another office: I gotta get my child support so I can get a pedicure.

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: The Joys of Temping in Austin

Posted on January 19, 2015
Employees, Family, Health & Hygiene, Money, Texas, Weirdness

Then He Changes His Shoes in Front Of Me, and It's Just Creepy

Project manager, reading e-mail from vendor: Hey, Travis*! What the fuck is this?
Travis*: Oh, yeah, that guy. He's like the fuckin' Mr Rogers of switchgear. Always with the “have a great day!”
Project manager: Hmm…
Travis*: And I'm all “you've got $140,000 in liquidated damages, so shut the fuck up, bitch, and get me my stuff!”

Fallon, Nevada

Overheard by: trippin on DayQuil

Posted on January 17, 2015
Bosses, Employees, Insults, Internet, Money, Nevada, TV

From the Extreme Home Makeover Director's Cut

Lead designer to counter top installer: Just go drill her holes to make her shut up!

Carlsbad, California

Posted on January 17, 2015
Body Parts, California, Designers and Photographers, Employees, Sexuality

Would You Like Some Ethnic Slurs With That?

Angry suit on cell: Get me the money or I take your ass to court. I’ll take your ass to court.
Barista: Ummm… sir? Can I get you something to drink?
Angry suit on cell: Yes, I’d like a triple mocha. [To cell.] I mean it. I’ll sue your ass, you greedy, lying Italian bastard.
Barista: Sir, would you like whipped cream on your mocha?
Angry suit on cell: Like hell you’ll get me the money by June. You were supposed to give it to me back in September. [To barista.] Extra whipped cream, thanks.

W Washington St
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Posted on January 16, 2015
Compare and contrast, Crimes, Customers, Default, Employees, Insults, Meals and Snacks, Michigan, Money, Offers and requests, Questions, Wishes

…Anymore.

Store manager: Someone smells like a hamster!
Startled employee: What?
Store manager, sniffing startled employee: It's you! You smell like a hamster!
Startled employee: I don't own a hamster.

Toy Store
Bridgewater, New Jersey

Overheard by: Startled Customer