Woman exiting man’s office: Give ’em a copy of your contract — I don’t care. I have better things to do than sit here and jerk myself off.
498 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: I care
Woman exiting man’s office: Give ’em a copy of your contract — I don’t care. I have better things to do than sit here and jerk myself off.
498 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: I care
Colleague: So, there is a good reason to suggest that Al-Quieda are Gerry Anderson fans.
England
Overheard by: SpaceBee
Customer: I have a question about something that's not pictured on your website. Can you describe it?
Coworker: (stares at her blankly)
Portland, Oregon
Frazzled boss: Today has been just awful.
Concerned coworker: I know, hun. (in a hushed tone) Do you want a Xanax?
Frazzled boss: Oh, god, no…thank you…I have my own supply. (in hushed tone) And I've already had several.
New York City, New York
Checkout girl: Hi, how are… [Turns to employee at next register.] Have I ever told you how badly I want a pet monkey? Like, besides getting out of this hellhole, it’s, like, the only thing I want in life.
Oneida, New York
Overheard by: fellow customer in line
Peon #1: Where did this ball come from? Is this your ball?
Peon #2: It's not mine. I haven't touched my balls in a long time.
Los Alamitos, California
Overheard by: Jen
Professor #1, referring to box on front desk: What is that?
Assistant: Tetramethylammonium hydroxide.
Professor #1: What?
Professor #2: It's just a bomb.
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Listening for Ticking
CSA: You might not be able to tell because I'm wearing a hoodie, but I work out a lot.
Manhattan, New York
Hygienist: What's the two bubbles with the line mean?
Office assistant: That's a percent symbol.
Dental Office
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: A
Desk drone to janitor: What's up, Kevin?
Janitor: Not much, 'cept me, maybe.
Lebanon, New Hampshire
