Office guy: We want this cockroach to look gorgeous, but at the same time, you know, not a cockroach of the night.
Las Cruces, New Mexico
Office guy: We want this cockroach to look gorgeous, but at the same time, you know, not a cockroach of the night.
Las Cruces, New Mexico
Angry office drone: Don’t fuck up the entire presentation… It will be really hard to unfuck!
Latham
New York
Boss: It's okay to say “masturbation.”
Worker: Okay. He masturbates to his grandma's underwear.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: why do i work here
Excited graduate assistant: Cadbury cream eggs are like the Jesus of Easter!
Faculty passerby: Wait, what?
Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio
Boss, offhandedly: I love this company. I want to have sexual relations with this company.
Confused employee: You mean…in the company building? Or…with the company?
Southern California
Office girl #1: She's in heat, so she's all swollen, and Bostons get gross swollen.
Boss: That's probably why she was running around town.
Office girl #2: I thought it was only males that run off when they're horny?
Boss: Nah, girls are whores, too.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: freudian flip
Manager: So there was this one time I spent $600 on snack foods.
Clerk #1: What?
Manager: Yeah, my friend and I went to the grocery store and bought a ton of food, but we also decided to bring along his cat in a backpack, and then we let him out in the store because we figured he was old and wouldn't escape…but he did. We lost him in the store, and then we left.
Clerk #2: You just left the cat behind?!
Manager: There's no stopping the Frito Bandito.
Maine Mall
Portland, Maine
Office employee #1: You're in a really cheery mood today!
Office employee #2: I'm drunk.
Kitchener
Canadia
Cube girl #1: I keep smelling food.
Cube girl #2: Maybe you’re having a stroke.
Cube girl #1: Nooooo!
Viking Drive
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Nicole
Drone #1: This sucks. I think I've run out of things to do for today.
Drone #2: I did that a couple of hours ago.
Drone #1: No wonder the economy contracted.
Chicago, Illinois
