Our Publisher is Male; It’s the Editor We’re Iffy On

Employee #1: Is [Morgan] a man?
Employee #2: What do you mean?
Employee #1: Is [Morgan] a he or a she?

1559 Brunswick Street
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Posted on April 9, 2015
Canadia, Employees, General Idiocy, Questions, Words

In Many Ways, Eve Was Just As Annoying As the Serpent.

Office drone: What does this apple taste like, and is it crunchy?

Tempe, Arizona

Posted on April 8, 2015
Arizona, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Sensory Experiences

…I Imagine

Normal female #1: He didn't get out this morning?
Normal female #2: No., he was held over til next Wednesday.
Normal female #1: I don't think you should take the girls back to orange camp to see him this time… That's how hookers remember their childhood.

Tampa, Florida

Posted on April 8, 2015
Advice, Employees, Florida, Questions, Sexuality

Thanks, Law & Order: SVU!

Guy at lunch table: Now I know how to get into little kids' mouths.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on April 7, 2015
Age and ageing, Body Parts, Employees, Illinois, Out to Lunch, Weirdness

Craig, Definitely

Project manager: So, when Janet* gets it from both sides next week… Do you think that is what Craig* and Barbara* really want?

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: The Quiet Consultant

Posted on April 6, 2015
Default, Employees, Office Politics, Questions, Sexuality, Texas, Words

One Hundred Dollars— a Special Deal for You

Customer: What price tickets do you have available?
Call center rep: $70, $60, and $35.
Customer: Okay…(long pause) What tickets do you still have though?
Call center rep: Um…70 dollar tickets, 60 dollar tickets, and 35 dollar tickets.
Customer: Okay… (pause) But how much are the tickets that you have left?

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Kathy

Posted on April 5, 2015
Customers, Employees, General Idiocy, Michigan, Money, On the phone, Questions

Only If I Can Take Photos

Office worker to secretary, in raspy voice: I need something to suck on, my throat is killing me.

Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: Geoff

Posted on April 5, 2015
Admins, Body Parts, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Virginia

Better Throw in the Bone, Too

Customer: I’ll take this sushi and the spicy chicken with brown rice.
Girl at counter: Do you want dark meat or sub with all natural chicken breast?
Customer: I don’t know — it’s not for me, it’s for a coworker.
Girl at counter: Is it a guy or a girl?
Customer: A guy.
Girl at counter: Just get the dark chicken. He’ll never tell the difference.
Customer: He’s gay.
Girl at counter: Oh. Then get the white meat.

1303 South Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Pracca

Posted on April 5, 2015
Customers, Default, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Sexuality, Texas

Tough Pregnancy, Al?

Guy #1: All that movie is about is white people punching their wives in the face.
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: I think it would be more fun to punch your wife in the stomach then in the face.

Woodlands, Texas

Posted on April 3, 2015
Body Parts, Cinema, Employees, Family, Texas, Violence

We're a Family Pesticide Company

Office guy: We want this cockroach to look gorgeous, but at the same time, you know, not a cockroach of the night.

Las Cruces, New Mexico

Posted on April 3, 2015
Animals, Employees, New Mexico, Physical Appearance, Weirdness, Wishes

Employees