Then She's All, “My Cerebral Palsy Hurts. Whine, Whine!”

Worker: I need you to pick up one of my kids, since you're already out there.
Peon: Why? What happened?
Worker: She missed the bus…again. Oh, wait, it gets better. It was the short bus. How do you miss the freaking short bus? It waits for you! The cherry on top of the sundae is that this is the second time it's happened.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Posted on May 18, 2015
Employees, Family, General Idiocy, Offers and requests, Oklahoma, Questions

If You Have to Ask, You Ain’t Never Gonna Know

Male phone representative to female customer: Mmm… Okay… Yeah… Am I married?

Call Center
Beaverton, Oregon

Posted on May 18, 2015
Employees, On the phone, Oregon, Questions, Relationships

Only By Pressing Control Alt Delete

Girl behind counter: So we open the oyster up, and inside we will find a pearl.
Middle aged American tourist: Wow, that is amazing! Does this hurt them?
Girl: Yes, this kills them.
Tourist: What! Can't you restart their brains or something?

Japanese Department Store, EPCOT Centre
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: mark shale

Posted on May 18, 2015
Animals, Death, Employees, Florida, Technology, Tourists, Weirdness

It's My Perfume — Do You Like It?

Office worker in cube: There's a weird dead baby smell in here. What is that?

Marlborough, Massachusetts

Posted on May 18, 2015
Employees, Massachusetts, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

What Is This, Oregon??

Cubicle dweller: Hopefully I can get Mark* to fill my slot.

Manhattan, New York

Posted on May 16, 2015
Body Parts, Employees, New York, Sexuality, Wishes

I'd Pay Ten Bucks to Hear Will Smith Read the Phone Book

Employee on phone: Last name is “Loveless,” as in Artemus Loveless from Wild Wild West. You know, the movie with Will Smith? (awkward pause) Well, I loved the movie.

Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: WillSmithFan1

Posted on May 16, 2015
Cinema, Employees, Maryland, On the phone, Questions, Words

If Only There Was a String You Could Pull

Employee friend: So, is everybody getting laid off then?
Executive friend: Not everybody.
(employee friend smiles)
Executive friend: Just everybody that wasn't on the commonwealth* project.
Employee friend: I wasn't on the commonwealth project.
Executive friend: Oh, yeah, uh…

Beacon Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: I WAS on the Project!!!

Posted on May 14, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Executives, Friends, Massachusetts, Questions

…The Amaretto Is for Jesus.

Loopy office lady: Oh, in the winter I only drink decaf, but in the summer, I drink coffee with one shot of Kahlua, one shot of Baileys, and one scoop of vanilla ice cream. Oh, yeah! And one shot of amaretto.

Office Park
Murray, Utah

Overheard by: I'm the sucker with cream only.