Woman #1, looking over cubicle: Rachel is going to be angry that you are sending her so many emails.
Woman #2, turning around: Who gives a fuck?
Woman #1: Seriously, you better watch it. [looks around] She can’t take too many emails, she has to pace herself.
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Not pacing myself!
Big chick: I walked to McDonald’s today. It’s like the subway diet, only less effective.
McDonald’s
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Overheard by: jared
Employee #1: I can’t believe they made that bitch Employee of the Month.
Employee #2: Me, neither.
Employee #1: I’m going to the general manager.
Employee #2: Yeah, I’ll back you up.
Later.
Boss: Who the hell told her that was a good idea to come see me?
Employee #2: I don’t know, I tried to stop her.
999 South Main Street
Salt Lake City, Utah
Analyst: Is it past 6:30 yet?
Associate: Yeah, it’s almost 7.
Analyst: Great, I can go back to my cubicle and fart in peace.
1200 F Street NW
Washington, DC
Manager strolling through office (singing): “Head, shoulders knees and toes, knees and toes. Head, shoulders knees and toes…”
Hertfordshire
England
Soccer mom: Can I have a medium iced latte? (pause) Wait, how much is a large?
Employee: $2.99.
Soccer mom: And how much is the medium?
Employee: $2.69.
Soccer mom: So which is the better value?
Employee: Huh?
Soccer mom: How many ounces are in the large? How many are in the medium? What's the cost per ounce of each?
Next customer in line: Here's thirty cents, just give her a large.
Soccer mom: I'm not sure if I want a large.
Rest of very long line: Argh!
Dunkin Donuts
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Heavy D
Male employee to foreign coworker: So you're going swimming today? Brought your Speedos?
Foreign coworker: You mean my panties?
Maylands Avenue
Hertfordshire
England
Overheard by: laughing uncontrollably
40-something owner: I was working with my horse this weekend but he was being difficult. He was acting like a faggot!
Gay employee: Excuse me! I find that extremely offensive!
40-something owner: Well, you know what I mean. “Faggot” is what my friends and I used to call each other when we were kids.
Southern California
Overheard by: Could have been anybody…
