Female cubicle dweller: Sorry, I'm choosing to divide my attention between daydreaming about shagging Jason Statham and deciding what to do for lunch.
Kirkland, Washington
Overheard by: LDAP
Eager coworker: I took a candy bar from you yesterday, but I didn’t have a dollar. And I want to take one again today.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Teacher: This is David from Israel. Do you have any questions for David?
Senior student: Yes. Do you have air conditioning in your tents?
High School
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: IsraeliTexan
IT guy: Your laptop is not booting up because you have a stuck function key. What happened, anyway?
Rep (refusing to make eye contact): Yeah, I … uhhh, think I dropped something on it.
It guy: Like what?!
Rep: Ummm yeah, well, like my fist.
Fern Valley Road
Louisville, Kentucky
co-worker after sending several large pdf files to her email.
*I'm sorry I didn't mean to overwhelm your box like that*. Co-worker reply *that's exactly what he said… Last night*.
123 Portland OR
Overheard by: overwhelmed
Engineer on phone: Now that's a good question. What was the question again?
Confederate Avenue
Atlanta, Georgia
Office guy: So I told her I would give her $15,000 and a ladder to elope. And that she could keep the ladder when she got back.
Stratford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Zaphod B.
CSR: I really hate it when customers are named that.
Supervisor: What?
CSR: ‘Dick.’ [Giggles] Because then I have to say that…
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Lady #1: My dad doesn’t have crabs anymore.
Lady #2: Oh, really?
Lady #1: Yeah, they all died.
Lady #3: Like pet crabs, right? Otherwise that’s a little too much information.
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Who would know that about their dad!?
New bride: So now I am changing my last name to Smith.
Negative co-worker: Oh! You will have problems with identity theft with that name… It's so common.
New bride: Oh no, it's okay, I put my old drivers license in the safety deposit box.
Crooks Road
Troy, Michigan
