Executive: If I had to use that, my arm would fall off!
Scientist: This coming from the guy with the largest disposable pipette!
Rockland, Maryland
Executive: If I had to use that, my arm would fall off!
Scientist: This coming from the guy with the largest disposable pipette!
Rockland, Maryland
Boss: So, I can’t take more than one piece of hand luggage on board?
Coworker: That’s right.
Boss: And this is all because of 7-11?
Coworker: Ummm, do you mean 9-11?
Kent
England
Administrator (filling water bottle at cooler): Hey.
Office worker (walking by): Hey.
Administrator: How are you?
Office worker: Good.
Administrator: How is the baby?
Office worker: Fat.
Hanover Square
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Mr. Uncreative
Disembodied voice: Everyone's got their ducks crossed and their i's dotted.
Kirkland, Washington
Office worker to colleagues: Yesterday, *jack* ran the dishwasher at 4 pm because it was very nearly full. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, maybe it was the right thing. What it was not I guarantee you was the end of the world. The next time you feel a hot rage build at the sight of an errant bowl or spoon, please, take a deep breath. Consider a stroll through madison square park. Or do something much more radical and put the bowl where it belongs, even if it's not your problem according to the rules. It won't hurt you I promise.
220 Fifth Ave, NYC
Copywriter (after watching a 1980s video on YouTube): YouTube is my fountain of youth.
Graphic designer: Young boys are mine.
Sex Toy Factory
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Looks like Diva
Tech guy: I need to update your microscope software, have you seen the dongle?
Grad student: Um… Excuse me?
Tech guy: I need to plug the dongle in to get access to your machine.
Grad student: Uh… What would… That… Look like?
Tech guy: Oh wait, never mind, I see it. Thanks!
[Tech guy leaves.]Grad student, to undergrad nearby: What the hell was he talking about?
Undergrad: I don’t know, but I feel like we were about ten seconds away from being in a very nerdy porno.
North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Office bimbette: Did you use your new pen yet? Did you smell it?
Broadway
New York City, New York
Help desk graphic novel snob: Yeah, well, I don't read comic books for the nudity.
Cleveland Ohio
Overheard by: Queen Report Monkey
Cashier, answering phone: Hello, Baker’s Square. [Pause.]Cashier, incredulous: Do we sell pies? [Pause.]Cashier, boastful: We were voted best pies in the world, we entered a contest and won. [Pause.]Cashier, sober: Yes, we sell pies. [Pause.]Cashier, indignant: A barbecue pie? I never heard of such a thing in my entire life. [Pause.]Cashier, impatient: Ma’am, did you have a specific question? I’m pretty busy. [Pause.]Cashier, puzzled: [Hangs up.]
Silicon Valley, California
Overheard by: My Good Ear
