Large dumb male hick to pregnant ghetto mama in break room: Owwwwww. I wanna feel him move! (touches her belly) I wanna hold him!
Pregnant ghetto mama: You be so stupid. Stop that.
Large dumb male hick: But I just wanna feel him kick. I wanna hold it.
Pregnant ghetto mama, rolling eyes: You are strange.
Large dumb male hick: (walks away sad)
Pregnant ghetto mama to room: There is something seriously wrong wit dat boy.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Cube dweller #1, dressed as redneck hunter: Whew, that salsa’s hot! I can’t eat any more of it!
Cube dweller #2, dressed as kitty cat: She’ll eat wild beaver, but not hot salsa… [Coworkers stare.]
New Mexico
Overheard by: ummmm…..she’ll eat what?
Male coworker: It's sad. I bet it's like, huge, but compared to that it's tiny.
Raleigh, NC
Customer service rep: He's the Russian mafia. The whole thing!
Fort Mill, South Carolina
Receptionist: Hey, if you go to Nordstrom's at lunch, will you do me a favor and find out how much gift certificates are?
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Violet White
Worker #1: You know, Winston Churchill was really my hero. He did so much amazing stuff, even before he was famous for the war and everything. He won the Nobel Prize for literature, you know.
Worker #2: Oh, really?
Worker #1: Because he always had the best way of phrasing things. Like, for example, this is my favorite one: “When the going gets tough, keep going!”
Fairfield County, Connecticut
Female coworker: Aww, man! I just lost everything I was typing!
male coworker comes to her desk and fixes it)
Female coworker: Wow!! That's amazing, how did you do that?
Male coworker: I'm a genie! All you gotta do is rub me the right way.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Grunt #1: You should try some breathing exercises to help you sleep.
Grunt #2: Did you just say “breeding exercises”?
Grunt #1: Well, if you think that would work better…
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: I love my cubicle
