Coworker to intern: Are you sure they're not taking you out there to kill you?
Los Angeles, California
Coworker to intern: Are you sure they're not taking you out there to kill you?
Los Angeles, California
Coworker: Do house sparrows fight to the death?
Nashua, New Hampshire
Guy on cell: I can hardly hear you. It sounds like you’re in a coffin.
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: brian
Lady on phone: Let me ask you this: if she dies before the next payment is due, does she still have to make that payment?
Main Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: insensitive much?
Employee: So, I know that we don't normally do this, but my father in law is sick and I need to telecommute from here. Is that okay?
Boss on speaker phone: Well, I guess telecommuting is acceptable for this week, but try not to let the situation go on much longer.
Employee to husband after, hanging up the phone: I think he just told me to kill your father.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: I don't know that I have that kind of power!
Associate to customer on phone about beef recall: We are only recalling meat with the dates April 28th through June 6th on it.
Customer: Well, mine is dated June 23rd. Can I eat it?
Associate: Yes, ma'am. That's not in our recall dates.
Customer: Are you sure it's safe?
Associate: Yes ma'am. That meat wasn't part of the recall.
Customer: What were the dates again?
Associate: April 28th to June 6th.
Customer: So, I won't die?
Associate: Ma'am, unless you plan on smearing it on a pig and eating it raw, you are going to be fine.
Yarmouth, Maine
Coworker to another: If your balls were full of oxygen and my wife were drowning, she'd rather die than suck on your balls.
Durham, North Carolina
Tenant: You know, it has been so nice outside, I wish we had windows that would open.
Building manager: Yeah, me too, but if we did, everyone would be jumping out of them to kill themselves.
270 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: JB
Judge: Son, there is a reason most murders take place between 10 pm and 4 am. If you do not want to *get* murdered, do not find yourself out at those times.
Detroit, Michigan
