CSR to client: You want the number 3 capitalized?
Oxford, Mississippi
CSR to client: You want the number 3 capitalized?
Oxford, Mississippi
Fire department personnel, answering phone: Fire department, can I help you?
Woman on phone: Yes, can I get a burn permit?
Fire department personnel: Yes, ma'am, just come to our office and we'll write one.
Woman on phone: And what are your hours?
Fire department personnel: Uh, ma'am? We're the fire department, we don't close.
California
Customer to pharmacy tech: I don't want you. I want the guy with goatee. Where's the guy with goatee?
Pharmacy tech: Nobody here has gold teeth.
Los angeles, California
Overheard by: Don't have either one
Customer: So, this Wild Mushroom Pizza, does it have mushrooms on it?
Waitress: Ummm, yeah.
701 Lynnhaven Parkway
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Cassandra
Mail teller: You’ll need to call 1-800-USPS. Wait. That doesn’t sound right. It must be 1-800-USPS though.
Customer: Okay. Thanks!
Post Office
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: How many digits in a phone number?
Client: Sorry I didn't call you yesterday, I had to chase my 25-pound dog for 40 blocks.
Sales rep: Oh yeah? What kind of dog?
Client: Apparently a Mexican one, if he can't understand when I tell him to stop.
Sales rep: That just means he pretends not to speak English so he doesn't have to listen to you.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Clarissa StTacocrotch
Customer #1: He was whacking it, and when I say whacking, I mean he was really going at it!
Customer #2: So you saw him do it?
Customer #1: Yeah, he was really embarrassed afterwards, but at least he was enjoying himself.
Customer #2: So what happened?
Customer #1: He was hitting it too hard and it snapped!
Customer #2: Oh… So you need a new PlayStation controller then?
Customer #1: Yeah.
K-Mart
Australia
Resident: What brings you here today?
Patient waiting for mammogram, pap smear, and colonoscopy: I’m here for a mammogram, a twat-o-gram, and an ass-o-gram.
Hospital, 1000 Blythe Boulevard
Charlotte, North Carolina
Customer: You mean you don’t have any wheelchair seats left for that matinee?
Assistant manager: No ma’am. We have a lot of senior citizen groups that come to matinees and they tend to fill up our wheelchair seats.
Customer: Well, I would say put me and my husband in two regular seats, but he doesn’t have any legs!
Husband: It’s true, I don’t have any legs!
Assistant manager: Ummm, ok. Let me see what I can do for you.
Shenandoah University Theatre ticket office
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: Jennifer Ellerbe
Customer: How many pieces of chicken are in the 12-piece meal?
Employee: Are you fucking with me?
Thornton, Colorado
