Co-worker: That’s a great idea, get a robot to sell drugs so you don’t have to. That way, when the cops bust your robot, you don’t get in trouble, just your robot. Just think, there’s so many criminal activities you could automate, like robotic prostitutes. Until now I had thought our future was dark and grim, but how I’m seeing a bright light at the end of the tunnel.
115 Perimeter Center Place NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Interviewer: So, in this position, sometimes the clients with behavioral issues might hit you or bite you. Would you have an issue with this? Would you have trouble working with that client again?
Interviewee: Oh, no, my boyfriend bites me all the time. See?
1001 W. 124th Avenue
Westminster, Colorado
Overheard by: A Sane Applicant
Large woman: You just watch out. I’m going to come over there and squeeze you the way they squeeze me.
30th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Female sales exec: Did you get that e-mail I sent you?
Male sales exec: Yeah.
Female sales exec: What’d you think?
Male sales exec: I’d give it a 90 percent.
Female sales exec: What made you take 10 off?
Male sales exec: It didn’t say anything about Jesus being the savior. I mean, that’s why we celebrate Christmas. You can’t have Christmas without Easter.
Female sales exec: Oh.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: So I can’t call it Xmas?
Coworker: Apparently, according to German law, I'm entitled to a castle.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Matt McLaughlin
Guy in crowded elevator that smells like disinfectant: Have you ever been to jail? It smells like jail in here.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: No, I never have
Employee: Rat balls are nasty!
Raytheon
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: taaj
Drunk on phone: Hello, is this Frogs?
Intern: No, this is not a bar, it is a place of business.
Drunk on phone: Look…is my honey Lois there?
Intern: No, please don't call anymore. (hangs up)
(phone rings again)
Drunk on the phone: Look…I'm looking for my honey Lois. Is she there?
Intern: No, this is a place of business. Please stop calling.
(hangs up phone, then it rings again)
Drunk on the phone: Have you seen my honey, Lois?
Supervisor: Yeah, I've seen her. She's sitting here at the bar and she's making out with a bunch of guys.
Drunk on the phone: Bitch! Tell her I'm going to kill her.
Supervisor: I would love to, but I think she's having sex right now on the bar. I'll wait until she's done.
Drunk on the phone: I can't believe she is doing this to me. (starts to cry and hangs up phone)
Supervisor to intern: Every once in a while you gotta have a little fun.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Annmarie
Guy in next cubicle on phone: Speak up! I can’t hear you because of the solar flares.
1500 West County Road
Roseville, Minnesota
Overheard by: I can’t believe I work here
Mother to child: No, we already have nine guns at home!
Wal-Mart Supercenter, Conneaut Lake Road
Meadville, Pennsylvania
