Co-worker: Every time I board an airplane nowadays, I look around and figure out who I’m going to eat if we crash.
115 Perimeter Center Place NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Co-worker: Every time I board an airplane nowadays, I look around and figure out who I’m going to eat if we crash.
115 Perimeter Center Place NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Baby mama to friend: These little boy clothes is so cute! If I have a boy I am going to name him D’jon, ’cause I love mustard!
Baby Gap
Towson, Maryland
Coworker #1: (mumbles)
Coworker #2: Hah?
Coworker #1: Hah? Oh, I am just talking to myself.
Coworker #2: Oh. As long as you are not answering yourself.
Coworker #1: I do! I don't want to be rude!
Manhattan, New York
Peon: It still wouldn’t look like soup to me, even if the dog was swirly.
143 South Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Cabbie yelling out window to guy who cut him off: Your mother is a puta! Your mother is a puta! Your mother is a puta! Your mother is a puta! [Gets out at red light, walks to offender’s car, points his butt at and simulates farting on the car, then gets back into cab and yells out window again.] You have no pee-pee! You have no pee-pee! You have no pee-pee! You have no pee-pee!
Outside White Plains train station
New York
Overheard by: ccampoll
Office girl in stall: Fuck this! Fuck you, uterus! I’ll kick your ass!
16th Street
Tempe, Arizona
Customer: You mean you don’t have any wheelchair seats left for that matinee?
Assistant manager: No ma’am. We have a lot of senior citizen groups that come to matinees and they tend to fill up our wheelchair seats.
Customer: Well, I would say put me and my husband in two regular seats, but he doesn’t have any legs!
Husband: It’s true, I don’t have any legs!
Assistant manager: Ummm, ok. Let me see what I can do for you.
Shenandoah University Theatre ticket office
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: Jennifer Ellerbe
Guest speaker: Domestic violence is hot.
Berkeley, California
Co-worker: If I killed someone, he would totally lie to the police for me. Either he would be my alibi or he would lie and say he did it so I could be free.
225 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Am I Next
Ghetto girl on cell: Whitey snuck into my apartment and set my alarm clock off by 12 hours! I ain’t never snuck into no white person’s house and put poison in they’re food! But Whitey’s oppressin’ me. Whitey snuck into my apartment while I was in the shower and stole my underwear! While I was in the shower!
545 Bus
Outside Seattle, Washington
