Cubicle mole to another: Yeah, every time I see that guy I think “next time I see him he's gonna have a Chinese wife.” Hey, do you remember Suzie? I wonder if she still has herself a Chinese baby…
Greenville, Texas
Overheard by: Mike
Cubicle worker #1: I was just next to what I commonly refer to as a “master blaster” in the men's john a minute ago…
Cubicle worker #2: Go on…
Cubicle worker #1: I think he barely had a chance to get his pants down before the gates of hell opened and all were consumed with fire and explosions of various forms…
Cubicle worker #1: I was trying not to laugh in the stall next door.
Cubicle worker #2: What the fuck!
Cubicle worker #1: It just goes to show. No matter how nice a person's shoes, they can still be ugly on the inside. His shoes were very nice, after all. A black patent leather cap toe, I believe.
Cubicle worker #2: Everyone shits.
Cubicle worker #1: I didn't get too good a look in my haste to retreat, lest I have to endure uncomfortable eye contact subsequently.
Moreno Valley, California
Overheard by: Joe P
Illustrator #1: What is the difference between a libertarian and a Republican?
Illustrator #2: Do you know what a Vulcan is?
Illustrator #1: Uh… I guess, like Mr Spock.
Illustrator #2: Well, a Republican is to a libertarian what a Vulcan is to a Romulan.
Illustrator #1: What the hell is a Romulan?
Illustrator #2: Well, they look like Vulcans, but they are more… Well, on the original show they represented the USSR.
Illustrator #1: So, a libertarian is a communist?
Illustrator #2: Well, no. Okay, do you know what a Centauran is?
Illustrator #1: No, and please don't tell me.
Greenville, Texas
Overheard by: Michael Philippus
IT worker: So what do you want to call your server?
Female coworker: How about Skynet? Everybody loves Skynet!
Male coworker: If you call it Skynet I will stab you in the eye.
Female coworker: Well, everyone except him.
North Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: Sarah Connor
Coworker on conference call: I thought you were on booty call!
Windsor Mill, Maryland
Young coworker: You're on top of things today.
80-year-old coworker: It's always good to be on top… Well, unless you're tired, then the bottom is better.
Mount Prospect, Illinois
Naive intern: Soo… Bob* from IT asked me if I wanted to go see Blue Man Group with him last week, and so I casually said I had plans with my boyfriend, to let him know I was spoken for, you know?
Office bitch: I'm sorry, I don't see the problem.
Naive intern: Well, ever since then he won't leave me alone and keeps asking me to hang out. Until I mentioned I had a boyfriend he wouldn't even talk to me!
Office bitch: Have you considered the possibility that maybe he just wants to be your friend?
Average worker: Woah! Look who got a soul for Christmas!
Woburn, Massachusetts
Overheard by: i got coal….
Coworker, on phone on other side of cubicle: No, no, you don't look like Barney. You look good.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Now I've Got That Song In My Head
Random guy to male coworker #1: I don't know you, man, but you look great in that beard.
Male coworker #2: Oh man, you got dudes giving you compliments now!
Male coworker #1: I think it's time for it to go.
Copley Square
Boston, Massachusetts
Male coworker #1: Supposed to get up to fifty this weekend!
Male coworker #2: Yup.
Male coworker #1: Folks are gonna looooove that.
Male coworker #2: Yep. Especially the doctors.
Male coworker #1: What?
Male coworker #2: Yeah, cuz you know when it gets warm everyone takes off their coats and then gets a cold and they have to go to the doctor, and he gets to poke them in the butt.
Crane, Indiana
Overheard by: Dr. J
