Painter #1: I can't find that roller anywhere.
Painter #2: Did you check…
Painter #1, interrupting: I've looked everywhere.
Painter #2: Did you check your butt?
Painter #1: Did you check your mom's butt?
Painter #2: Did you check your mom's face?
Boss painter: Dammit guys, get back to work!
Atlanta, Georgia
Coworker on phone: I kinda just rub it underwater.
Stockton, California
Coworker to boss: If we go to jail for this, I better be your girlfriend, because I don't think I could handle it on my own.
Albany, New York
Coworker: It doesn't have to work, we just have to do something!
Manhattan, New York
Coworker: What was I just talking about? I lost my train of thought. I can't remember… so it was probably a lie.
Avon, Colorado
Coworker #1, about Hispanic workers outside: I wonder if they are Mexican.
Coworker #2: They could be.
Coworker #3: Maybe they're Guatemalan.
Coworker #1: Or Puerto Rican.
Coworker #3: No, they're not Puerto Rican. They're not wearing purple.
Glens Falls, New York
Coworker #1: It won't mount. It's been three minutes.
Coworker #2: Three minutes… that ain't right. Want me to see if I can mount it faster?
Coworker #1: Yeah, have a go.
Coworker #2: I'm straight in.
Beverly, Massachusetts
Regular office guy: Anyone want to go get coffee?
Hot office girl: No, I have a dentist appointment I have to leave for in a few minutes.
Regular office guy: Well, that sucks.
Hot office girl: No, my mouth sucks! (pause) Wait…
Bellevue, Washington
Nearby cubicle dweller: I can't believe my nephew only got a 10% on the science test! So if there were a hundred questions, it means he only got one right!
Freehold, New Jersey
Overheard by: Rob
