Help Desk #1: If I’m going down it ain’t gonna be for rocks. It’ll be a bank or something.
Help Desk #2: Or manure.
1900 East 9th Street
Cleveland, Ohio
Help Desk #1: If I’m going down it ain’t gonna be for rocks. It’ll be a bank or something.
Help Desk #2: Or manure.
1900 East 9th Street
Cleveland, Ohio
Co-worker #1: Do you guys know anybody with bad teeth?
Co-worker #2: I have pretty bad teeth.
Co-worker #1: No, somebody young.
Co-worker #2: So I have bad teeth and I’m old?
Co-worker #1: No, it’s for an anti-meth advertisement.
Co-worker #2: Well, I know people with bad teeth, but they’re all meth-heads.
78 Clinton Street
New York, NY
Junior Partner: I’m leaving at noon today because I think I put my underwear on backwards this morning.
Senior Partner: I really don’t know how to respond to that.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Tuck Tabler
Cubicle #1: I just realized Monday is your birthday. You’ll be…28?
Cubicle #2: Yeah. You know, ten years ago I thought I’d be all married with kids by now. Living in Red Bank or Cheesequake or something.
Cubicle #1: Wow, thank god none of that came true.
Cubicle #2: I know.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Partner #1: The real cute one?
Partner #2: Yeah.
Partner #1: Yeah, she’s married.
Partner #2: Damn it!
Partner #3: That’s how I like ’em. cute, and married.
222 Severn Avenue
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Tits McGee
Cube #1: Did you know you can type “deferred” with one hand?
Cube #2: Couldn’t you type any word with one hand?
Cube #1: Yeah…but you can type it with one hand.
Cube #2: Yeah…couldn’t you type any word with one hand?
Cube #1: No…I mean, it means you can type it with one hand; the letters are all within one inch of each other. D-e-f-e-r-r-e-d.
Cube #2: Oh!…I definitely spelled that wrong.
One Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Urinal #1: I am going home for the day. Take care, you have a good one.
Urinal #2: Thanks; I didn’t even know you were looking.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Cube #1: You know what? I wish I was drinking like…some King Cobra right now.
Cube #2: Oh, I know.
Cube #1: Or like a log of chocolate.
Cube #2: Yeah. Chocolate. In the shape of an actual log.
Cube #1: Yeah.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Co-worker on phone: Hello?…Do I have a minute to come up for a second?
385 Benedict Street
Port Townsend, Washington
Worker on phone: When can you come in today?…Well, I don’t know how long it takes to file an Apprehended Violence Order.
94 Todd Street
Alice Springs, Northern Territory
Australia
Overheard by: Daniel Waudby