Engineer #1, about coworker’s new implants: Dude, I know! She is totally shaped like a cartoon!
Engineer #2: I would really like to get in there and… motorboat, motorboat, motorboat!
Highway 78
Ladson, South Carolina
Engineer #1, about coworker’s new implants: Dude, I know! She is totally shaped like a cartoon!
Engineer #2: I would really like to get in there and… motorboat, motorboat, motorboat!
Highway 78
Ladson, South Carolina
Secretary: This photocopier is broken.
Office service staff: Why, what's it doing?
Secretary: Well, I tried to make a color copy, but it came out black and white.
Office service staff, looking at original: Um, your original is black and white.
Secretary: Yes, I know, I thought it would insert color onto it.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Legally Retarded
Swedish employee: You’re responsible for all the wars in the world.
Jewish employee: Well, you’re responsible for… Abba.
Diehl Road
Naperville, Illinois
Overheard by: not getting sent to HR
Cube guy #1: Hey, I got that ointment you mentioned last night.
Cube guy #2: Oh yeah, did it go away?
Cube guy #1: Well, you know … It never really “goes away”.
Internet Company
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Cube Guru
Man reading aloud from newspaper: North Carolina law describes malicious castration as cutting off, maiming or disfiguring a person’s gentiles…
725 West Golf Road
Hoffman Estates, Illinois
Overheard by: Gentile Intactus
Old employee to young one: So, it was more important to get laid than go to the company picnic?
666 11th Street
Washington, DC
Co-Worker #1: He was born in Spain, but his parents were born in Haitia, right?
Co-Worker #2: You mean Haiti?
25 East Washington Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lesley
New guy to female coworker, handing her lunch menu: You look like someone who would be interested in this.
Female coworker: What is that supposed to mean?
New guy: Oh.
Main Street
Watertown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: so glad i'm not male
Coworker #1: Man, if I found out my kid was retarded before it was born, I’d get it aborted. It’s not like it’s going to contribute to society.
Coworker #2: Except to give jobs to teachers who want to teach retarded kids.
Coworker #1: Yeah, and if my kid was going to be physically retarded but his brain was going to be fine, I’d give him up for adoption. That way I can have a normal one — but I didn’t kill him in case he’s like Stephen Hawking.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Prochoice to a new level
Woman to man remaining on elevator: Not getting off?
Man: Yeah, I thought it was going up. It was going down.
Woman: Ah, well, a little detour’s okay.
Man: Yeah… I have a lot of work to do, though.
Woman: Well, but you know, sometimes it’s important to stop and smell… the lobby.
60 State Street
Boston, Massachusetts
