Woman to coworker: And I was like, “Whatever, you don't pay my bills!” (pause) Well, actually, he pays all of my bills.
Buffalo, New York
Woman to coworker: And I was like, “Whatever, you don't pay my bills!” (pause) Well, actually, he pays all of my bills.
Buffalo, New York
Older woman: This is the first day since you started here that I haven't talked to you!
Younger man: I know! I'm going to go home and write about it in my diary!
Anoka, Minnesota
Overheard by: Will he use his sparkly pen?
Employee #1: Is the new copier up and running yet?
Employee #2: It's been plugged in since Wednesday, but we're not using it yet. I think it's charging.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: On The Wrong Planet
Coworker #1: You made your own bed, dude.
Coworker #2, pouting: I know! But that's what I do when I'm drunk. I make beds!
Seattle, Washington
Coworker #1: Check out this cat stroller!
Coworker #2: If cats need strollers, no wonder us humans are so fat.
Farmington Hills, Michigan
Drone #1: Crikey Moses! Who the hell wants their picture taken in the Mastermind chair?
Drone #2: Crikey Moses?! You need some better swear words!
201 Wood Lane
London, England
Female clerk to male clerk: Every time I see you, you're either pushing it in or pushing it out.
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: oh realllyyyy
Coworker #1: I can't believe we didn't catch that last time!
Coworker #2: We did… and laughed at it.
Manhattan, New York
[In the ER.]Nurse #1: Oh my god.
Nurse #2: What?
Nurse #1, looking horrified: I just entered all of these notes on the wrong patient’s file.
Nurse #2: It’s okay. Just go back, delete, and re-enter them for the right patient.
Nurse #1, distressed at herself: But that’s awful! What would have happened?
Nurse #2, shrugging: ‘s’okay, happens all the time.
Hospital
Beckley, West Virginia
Woman #1: I haven’t had a haircut since my friend died.
Woman #2: Why not?
Woman #1: She used to do my hair for nothing.
Woman #2: Well, it looks like a fucking Brillo pad now. I’d throw some money at your head, and fast!
365 W Passaic Street
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
