Executive assistant: Does anyone have a dictionary?
Coworker: No, but it is online. You can just go to dictionary.com, or Google dictionary.
Executive assistant: That sounds too hard for me. Can you just e-mail me the link?
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: I can't belive she gets paid more than me
Coworker on phone: He had two career ideas: one was to start an internet porn site, and the other was to become a priest.
Syracuse, New York
Coworker #1: You should use the clap method.
Coworker #2: Me and the clap just don't mix.
Washington, DC
Office worker: I haven’t heard from him since the last time we talked.
4526 11th Ave NE
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: James eDropper
Coworker #1: Rio de Janeiro just won the vote to host the 2016 Olympic Games.
Coworker #2: Is that like a perfume?
Charles City, Iowa
50-year-old secretary to another: You know, if you need a uterus, you can have mine. It's all flappy and old.
Middle School
Larchmont, New York
Overheard by: Lil' Bill
Boss to chubby young female coworker: Hey, why are you jingling?
Chubby young female co-worker (after brief pause): Umm, because I'm fat.
Boss (horrified): Wait… What?! No, no, not “jiggle” …jingle!
Chubby young female coworker (laughing): Oooooooh! (lifts up foot and gives it a shake) I have little bells on my socks!
New Market, Maryland
Coworker #1: See, this is my new man bag.
Coworker #2: Oh, nice! So manly.
Coworker #3: Man bag? Sounds like scrotum.
270 County Hospital Road
Quincy, California
Erring employee: Shit, I screwed it up.
Naive employee: Don't worry. If it's screwable, I've done it.
Lakewood, Colorado
