9AM Back to Work

Coworker on phone: Listen, there’s a lot to be said for being punched in the face.

1020 19th Street NW
Washington DC

Overheard by: I just work here

Posted on January 6, 2019
Compliments, Coworkers, On the phone, Violence, Washington DC

Who’s Best Hands Up?

Woman #1: Heard from your old high school boyfriend lately?
Woman #2: No. He’s traveling. Moving to Florida. Wife number three.
Woman #1: Would you nail him again?
Woman #2: In a heartbeat. Best in oral sex, hands down.

Paramus, New Jersey

Overheard by: Makin’ Copies

Posted on January 3, 2019
Coworkers, Default, Gossip, New Jersey, Questions, Sexuality

Geoge Washington Did Perm His Hair before Battle

Know-it-all peon: I swear, every invention in this world was invented for war. Highways, the Internet — everything! Don’t you read?
Lady peon: Okay, Eric*! What about perms? Hot rollers weren’t made for war!
Know-it-all peon: Perms aren’t inventions.
Lady peon: My ass, they aren’t!

Waterloo, Iowa

Posted on January 2, 2019
Coworkers, Default, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Iowa, Violence

But It's Important to Our Relationship That I Share Inappropriate Facts About Her

Newbie: So Diane* is the one with dirty blonde hair?
Seasoned worker: I don't think they like the term “dirty.”
Newbie: Oh yeah, my girlfriend kinda likes being called “dirty.”
Seasoned worker: I meant the hair color.
Newbie: I know!

Inverness Work Plex
Denver, Colorado

Posted on December 31, 2018
Advice, Colorado, Colors, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Insults, Physical Appearance, Questions, Words

You Seem to Be Missing My Point Deliberately

Senior editor: I know! I could sue the company. I injured my toenail at a company event. What do you think loss of a toenail is worth?
Writer: I don't know. See what they're selling for on eBay.

Renton, Washington