Guy: I’m so beat. I stayed out till 4am drinking last night. I was going to go take a nap in the car, but I think that would be too obvious.
Girl: You can take a nap on the picnic table over there. Then maybe a cop will show up and arrest you because he thinks you’re homeless.
Guy: Bitch! This is business casual!
23825 Commerce Park
Beachwood, Ohio
Co-worker #1: Morning [Etienne].
Co-worker #2: Morning. It’s going to be hot today, it’s already 80 degrees out there.
Co-worker #1: My weather station said it was -15 degrees.
Co-worker #2: What is that, in celsius or something?
1345 Monroe Avenue NW
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Lady peon: Oh, for fuck’s sake! I’m going to have to draw on my breasts now.
Bolton, Lancashire
United Kingdom
Worker #1: The pollen is so bad, this morning I coughed up a flower.
Worker #2: Oh my god, are you serious?
Worker #1: Uh…no.
6355 MetroWest Boulevard
Orlando, Florida
Contractor: …so we should definitely take a good look at him. I
don’t want to snowball with more mess.
Specialist: …Um…Yeah.
12443 Olive Boulevard
St. Louis, Missouri
Female coworker to male coworker: No, I don't want one of your lousy man pills!
Seattle, Washington
Academic advisor #1: Isn't there some lake in Utah with a lot of salt in it?
Academic advisor #2: Salt… Lake… City?
Des Moines, Iowa
Co-worker #1: These new pants are great. I can spill anything on them and it just brushes right off. I wish I knew how they did it.
Co-worker #2: It’s nanotechnology.
7 Times Square
New York, NY
Boss: I need two Excedrin and a Pepsi, stat!
Coworker, trying to be helpful: How about some cheese and nerds?
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Cube guy #1: Wow, that girl with Tina* is hot. Who is she?
Cube guy #2: That’s her daughter.
Cube guy #1: Damn, man! Why isn’t she my daughter?
Cube guy #2: What does that mean?
Cube guy #1: I dunno. I meant–
Cube guy #2: –Dude, that means you’d have to sleep with–
Cube guy #1: –I know, I know, I’m sorry! Messed up… You didn’t have to give me the visual.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Cube Guru
