Designer: You make it sound like I’m a used car.
Copywriter: I didn’t mean to. Nice dashboard, by the way.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Designer: You make it sound like I’m a used car.
Copywriter: I didn’t mean to. Nice dashboard, by the way.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Secretary: I have to wear this scarf over my shirt because the shirt is made for women with cleavage. But since I don’t have any, I wear the scarf. All my cleavage is in my butt!
Wenatchee, Washington
Associate, to coworker across the office: The question is, if you wouldn’t want to mention it, why would you want to touch it?
New York, New York
(co-worker #1 limps to copy machine)
Co-worker #2: Dude, what’s the matter with you?
Co-worker #1: I’m all messed up. But I’ll survive… eventually.
Sidney Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Sad boss: Like cats in a parade, they just do whatever they want to do.
6th Avenue
New York City, New York
Intern: I was like: “Who do you think you are?! You had like two lines in Hanna Montana! You are not Zac Efron, okay?”
Constitution Drive
Victoria, Texas
Overheard by: Diana
Fat coworker: Dude, all these re-orgs and manager changes really suck.
Skinny coworker: You know what else sucks? Polio.
Ontario Street
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: The loud one
Security guy: I could be an officer, you know.
Sarge: Oh, shut the fuck up.
Security guy: No, really. It’s just politics stopping me! Just politics!
Sarge: Oh, is Rudy fucking Giuliani preventing you from becoming a police officer? Why don’t you fucking explain that to all of us?
Public Safety
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Shaye
Older female accountant: You’re looking more like Burt Reynolds each day.
Younger male accountant: He’s old, what are you saying?
Older female accountant: No, like… In a good way… When he was sexy and young.
Younger male accountant: (silence)
Older female accountant: I should get back to work.
Independence, Ohio
Nurse: It didn’t hurt my tongue when they pierced it–just that first pop.
Tech: Ooooh, my asshole just puckered up!
Receptionist: Quit talking about tongues and assholes!
Front Desk, Medical Clinic
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: xrayguy
