Admin assistant #1 (talking about her daughter's day camp): When I pick her up, I'm going to complain to the camp office. The counselors have these kids eating bugs as a fun, Fear Factor type of activity!
Admin assistant #2: Did your kid eat a bug?
Admin assistant #1: Yeah! Yesterday, she said she ate a butterfly!
Admin assistant #2: A butterfly? That's like eating a baby!
Fairfield, Ohio
Writer: For some reason, I just don't feel bad joking about her death.
Augusta, Georgia
Patricia: Sometimes, and it depends on the day I'm having, I am either “Positive Patty” or “Pessimistic Patricia.”
IT chick: Yeah? Sometimes, and it depends on the day I'm having, I put whiskey in my coffee.
University of Rochester, New York
Overheard by: Jennay
Coworker on phone: Yeah, I’ll be over later, but without the ticks.
Johnson City, Tennessee
VP on phone: What are you doing? (silence) Sounds like you’re taking a shit.
Springfield, Massachusetts
Professor walking into new chemistry building: Whoa, is this an optical illusion or is this reality?!
University of Arizona, Tucson
Overheard by: Rasputin
Retail employee #1: I’m gonna have to leave early today, my friend and I are going to go and get the Wii.
Retail employee #2: Oooh, the weed? I want some!
Stonebriar Mall
Frisco, Texas
Peon, walking into boss’s office: What smells so good? It smells like my grandmother’s cooking.
Boss: Oh, Joan* brought pork chop for lunch. I guess she thought I was emancipated.
Peon, laughing and mumbling: She thought what?
Athens, Georgia
Phone girl #1: It has smelled like stuff in here all day.
Phone girl #2: I know, it’s like food just walked over here.
New York City, New York
Obnoxious server: Ewww, did you just fart, dude?
Timid new guy: Uh, no, I’m sorry.
Obnoxious server: Musta been me. Smells like pot roast, doesn’t it?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
