Admin to boss: Well, you're totally opposite from me, but we have different brains.
Seattle, Washington
Admin to boss: Well, you're totally opposite from me, but we have different brains.
Seattle, Washington
Kid with glasses: …and the last one comes out on Saturday!
Biker-looking dad: Would you stop with your Harry Potter dorkiness? Why can't you be obsessed with something worthwhile? Like personal finance!
Aberdeen, Maryland
Serious receptionist: Just because she has a tattoo doesn't mean she's an alcoholic!
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Are you for real?
Six-year-old camper #1: I'm half Jewish and half Irish!
Six-year-old camper #2: I'm half Finnish and half Polish!
Six-year-old camper #3: I'm a quarter sign-language!
Look Park
Florence, Massachusetts
Woman (looking at new drinks): I don't need more drinks to choose from. I'm not that interested in beverages. I like my Diet Coke, I like my vodka, and that's all I need.
Lakeshore Drive
Birmingham, Alabama
Project manager #1: I'm taking a class, but someone stole my notebook.
Project manager #2: Learning sucks… Let me tell you what I'm going to have for dinner.
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: Then wouldn't I be learning?
Male coworker #1: I don't care how much of a bitch she is, her tits are unbelievable.
Male coworker #2: Shit, did you see that red thing she was wearing yesterday? I had to jerk off in the bathroom during lunch.
Female coworker they're talking about: You guys are aware that I can hear you, right?
Male coworker #1: In our own defense, we weren't aware of that.
Chelmsford, Massachusetts
Overheard by:
(male admin yawns)
Female admin: Nap time?
Male admin: I never sleep.
Female admin: You never sleep? What, do you put toothpicks in your eyes to keep them open?
Male admin: I'm going to write that down, that's a good idea.
Female admin: At least you choose to stay awake, rather than your husband waking you up by coming home at 1:30 in the morning.
Male admin: At least he didn't pee in the bed.
New York City, New York
White office dude: What do a roll of sod and a 200-pound white chick have in common?
Mexican office dude: I dunno. What?
White office dude: Sooner or later they both get laid by a Mexican.
Mexican office dude: You know, that joke would be really funny if it weren't so true.
Employee Parking Garage
Downers Grove, Illinois
(coworker is walking down the corridor with 3-D glasses on)
Girl: That's a bit odd. Does he realize he's only going to see things in color, not in 3-D?
Guy: You didn't just say that.
Girl: What?
Guy: Well, how many dimensions do you think I am?
Girl: One.
Portland, Oregon
