Intern, after a lengthy conversation with a make-up artist: Oh, and by the way, I’m here to do more than have conversations about murder and rape…
Sargent Place
Los Angeles, California
Intern, after a lengthy conversation with a make-up artist: Oh, and by the way, I’m here to do more than have conversations about murder and rape…
Sargent Place
Los Angeles, California
Nerdy barista #1, excitedly: Yeah, she said she wanted to hang out later!
Nerdy barista #2: Your life is like Tetris; all the pieces are falling into place.
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: nes
Older saleswoman, picking up the phone: Hello, this is Sue. How may I help you? Yes? Oh, no! Oh, dear! Definitely! Absolutely, just bring it on in and I’ll take care of it for you. No problem! I’m soooo sorry. I am so, so, so sorry!! [Hangs up phone.] I’m sorry your mother was a prostitute.
Department Store
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: lisa
Advisor #1: Wow, you're really almost done packing up your office. All the rainbow stuff is gone…
Advisor #2: I never had any rainbow stuff up. It was just colorful.
Advisor #1: True. It's like the party's over.
Advisor #2: Yup. The make-up's off. My hair's messed up… Can't find my underwear.
Advisor #1: Wait, how is that different from any other day?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Daniel
IT director: You have to think of an org chart as a sort of hierarchy.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Coworker #1: So you ate the cookies?
Coworker #2: Yeah, they had only been in the toilet for a second! Five second rule!
Coworker #1: That’s still disgusting.
Coworker #2: Well, hey, at least I didn’t lick my dirty foot.
Coworker #1: That was once! You’ve eaten cookies out of the toilet loads of times!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Melissa
Ghetto IT guy: It took me mad long to dig my car out. It was frozen in. I had to use one of the ice chopping things. I was going to town, it looked like I was cutting a huge pile of coke. I was slicing in rows up the whole thing.
IT girl: Ummm… Did you get your car out?
Madison Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Pepsi please
Man entering bathroom, standing next to coworker at urinal: David*, you smell like suntan lotion. Have you been out tanning?
David*: I think you need to stop with your fantasies.
Men's Bathroom
Omaha, Nebraska
Cube dweller, about post-it: Do you want a fresh one or a used one? (pause) Heh, heh… Funny.
Office dweller: Um, well, can I have some tape?
Cube dweller: You're so needy.
Kentucky
Overheard by: Lucy
Employee #1: Your haircut is just so cute, I meant to tell you! It looks just like–what was Spock on Star Trek? A Vulcan? It makes you look just like a Vulcan!
Employee #2: Um, thank you…
Employee #1: I hope you don't take that the wrong way!
Atlanta, Georgia
