One Sign You’re Not Giving Your Writers Enough to Do

Writer to editor: I was having a staring contest with you a little while ago, but you weren’t paying attention so I won.

Broad Street
Augusta, Georgia

Posted on March 14, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Design and Editorial, Georgia, Time Management, Writers and Editors

But It Was a Booby Prize in Every Way

Faculty member: Her chest looked like it was being displayed as first prize at a raffle.

Notre Dame, Indiana

Overheard by: iz

Posted on March 13, 2015
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Employees, Indiana, Physical Appearance

Just Like It Promised in the Med School Brochure

Endocrinologist to another doctor: They're both GI doctors, so you know they're really pulling it in. And they've got good hours, well, unless someone starts bleeding in the middle of the night. The only way one of mine bleeds is if I stab them in the thyroid.

Fairview Hospital
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: A Very Scared Patient

Posted on March 13, 2015
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Doctors, Health & Hygiene, Minnesota

Yours Is Much Thicker, Though.

Dude: I just got back from waxing my board.
Receptionist: Oh, yeah? I noticed your board is long, like my husband's. Must be because you're both tall.

University Avenue
Palo Alto, California

Overheard by: that's what she said

Posted on March 13, 2015
Body Parts, California, Compare and contrast, Employees, Family, Physical Appearance, Receptionists

Where the Distinction Is Irrelevant

General manager to sales guy: You are such a candy-assed, chicken-shit, pansy son of a gun!
Warehouse manager to sales guy: Dude, I’ve dated girls that are more of a man than you are!
Receptionist to warehouse manager: Yeah, but you’re from Jersey.

Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Nikki

Posted on March 11, 2015
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Employees, Geography & History, Insults, Maryland, Receptionists, Sales, Sexuality

Besides, Can You Think Of a Better Way to Say “I'm Republican”?

Boyfriend to girlfriend: I can't get an elephant tattooed on my ass, elephants are really big.
Girlfriend: People have solar systems tattooed on them, and those things are fucking huge.

Mahwah, New Jersey

Posted on March 10, 2015
Animals, Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Couples, General Idiocy, New Jersey, Physical Appearance

I Don’t Know What I Know ’til Somebody Tells Me

Girl #1: Did you finish with the Christmas card?
Girl #2: We call it holiday card now. Because everyone is not Catholic.
Girl #1: You know it’s not just Catholics that celebrate Christmas; Christians celebrate it too.
Girl #2: Oh they do? I didn’t know because I’m Catholic.

Fifth Avenue
New York City, New York

Overheard by: But Catholics ARE Christians

Posted on March 9, 2015
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, General Idiocy, Holidays, New York, Questions, Religion

Just Add “Or Whatever” So His Feelings Don’t Get Hurt

(receptionist passes a Boss Day card to one of the company partners to sign)
Partner, after signing it: So… What’s this for? His birthday?
Receptionist: No, his birthday was last month… remember?
Partner: Oh… I already signed it “Happy birthday”.

Main Street
Aspen, Colorado

Posted on March 9, 2015
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Executives, Questions, Receptionists, Words

…According to A Lady's Guide to Cultural Stereotypes

Female coworker, dancing up to counter: You know, that's the kind of dance move you normally see drag queens use.

Kansas City, Missouri

Posted on March 8, 2015
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Missouri, Sexuality

…So, by Our Standards, It's Perfect.

Manager to customer: You know, I just don't think that's adequate enough.

Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts

Posted on March 8, 2015
Bosses, Compare and contrast, Customers, General Idiocy, Massachusetts

Compare and contrast