Warehouse supervisor #1: Man, my computer at home is running slow.
Warehouse supervisor #2: Why, what's up?
Warehouse supervisor #1: I downloaded some porn but I had to delete it so my wife didn't see it.
Warehouse supervisor #2: Okay, so what's the problem now?
Warehouse supervisor #1: I found pron that was downloaded by my wife.
Warehouse supervisor #2, laughing: Guess you're not the only neglected one in the house.
California
Waiter: There's a fly buzzing around. I kept him off your food.
Manager: Ah, it doesn't matter. Nobody ever died from that.
Waiter: Nobody ever died from licking my balls, either. You want to come over here and do that?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Young overly loud female coworker: Lots of women's uteruses fall out. (puts hand on extremely pregnant female coworker) Don't worry, that won't happen to you.
Bee Caves Road
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Just trying to eat my lunch
Lead animator: Quit goofing off!
Animator: I’m not.
Lead animator: I said no goofing off! Get to work!
Animator: I am working.
Lead animator, hitting animator with poster: No talking! Get to work!
Animator: I am working!
Lead animator: [Picks up computer mouse, and throws it across the desk.] Get to work! No talking!
Las Cruces, New Mexico
Overheard by: pretty picture guy
Female coworker: The only way a woman can make it in the industry is if she has huge boobs!
Male coworker: Hey, guys need to have large nuts to make it.
Vancouver
BC
Canadia
Office woman #1: I'm like a Japanese girl. I like everything tiny.
Office woman #2: Everything?
Office woman #1: Yes, I like everything to be tiny.
Office woman #2: Well, I like things to be a nice size.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Intern: You know, Michael Jackson always reminded me of Darth Vader.
Employee: Who?
Intern: From Star Wars.
Employee: Wait, Michael Jackson was in Star Wars?
Pennsylvania
30-something redhead to older male lunch companion: I'm kind of disgusted with my current job in law enforcement. I'm thinking of a career change to either a highly-paid call girl or an assassin.
Older male lunch companion: Well, you're awesome at sex, and you *do* know how to kill people…
Restaurant
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
IT guy #1, looking at coworker's computer: Yep… We got porn!
IT guy #2: Are you surprised?
IT guy #1: No, not really.
Receptionist, passing by: Oh my god! That's not a dildo, that's an act of war!
Chicago, Illinois
Co-worker #1: Man! Sasha* is on the phone every time I go over there to talk to her.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, you’re right! She is! You know who else is on the phone a lot? Latoya*.
Co-worker #1: … She’s the receptionist…
Tysons Corner, Virginia
