Coworker #1: Sometimes when I walk by, I just stand here and watch you like you're in the zoo.
Coworker #2: My cage is open. I'm gonna freaking maul your ass.
Kirkland, Washington
Coworker #1: Sometimes when I walk by, I just stand here and watch you like you're in the zoo.
Coworker #2: My cage is open. I'm gonna freaking maul your ass.
Kirkland, Washington
Manager: This plug adapter is for taking something to the UK.
Woman: I don’t know what the UK is. I’m going to England, not the UK.
Pleasanton, California
Overheard by: Stephen
Assistant: Can you stick around? I need supervision for this.
Manager: Really? I'd rather have super hearing than super vision. (pause) Oh, you meant “supervision,” didn't you?
Assistant: Do you think someone else could help me with this?
Baltimore, Maryland
Coworker #1: I would like more markers like this.
Coworker #2: What makes it so special?
Coworker #1: It writes better.
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah? Let me see the tip.
Greenwood Village, Colorado
Overheard by: Raaaaachel
Coworker, about inappropriate supervisor: It's like working in the geriatric Jersey Shore.
College
Massachusetts
Female coworker on phone: I am really sorry my pregnancy is an inconvenience to you, but guess what: it is an inconvenience to me too!
Westland, Michigan
Overheard by: Krystal
Worker #1, about friend's two children: I like Mike, he's a cool kid. Jake, though, just scares me.
Worker #2: Me too! Serial murderer material.
Worker #1: Yeah! He's probably just this misunderstood, clinically depressed kid that nobody loves because he is so ugly. And underneath it all, he's probably a lovely person, but the world will never know because of two bitches like us. Oh, who am I kidding? He's a psychopath, and you and I are awesome.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: lurking in the shadows
Office lady #1: As soon as you put out cookies or candy or whatever, people around here descend on it. They're like cockroaches.
Office lady #2, eating free candy: Oh, thank you very much! I'm a cockroach, am I?
Office lady #1: Fine. It's like magic, okay?
Office lady #2: Magical cockroaches?
Office lady #1: Magical cockroaches.
Office lady #2: Well, it's good to know that at least I'm a magical cockroach.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Intern #1: I need to talk to you, there is an issue with a drop-down menu.
Boss: You are like the problem child I never wanted!
Intern #2: What about me?
Boss: You know a lot about alcohol.
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Office worker #1: I'm so damn hungry, I need real food.
Office worker #2: Yeah, I can imagine that liquid diet wouldn't be too filling or satisfying.
Office worker #2: I feel like I'm an African refugee.
Chantilly, Virginia
