Boss: So do you think I should get 3 pies for the meeting since we have 30 people?
Worker Bee #1: Sure, 3 pies should be enough.
Worker Bee #2: I think you need more than 3.
Worker Bee #1: How many do you think we should get?
Worker Bee #2: We need 3.14159 pi.
Boss: Get out of my office. Now.
1010 Second Avenue
San Diego, California
Courtesy clerk: Can I help you find something, sir?
Male customer: Yes. I need condoms and cake right now! If I can’t get one tonight, I need the other. Can you hurry?
Grocery store
California
Overheard by: Daphne
Office bimbette #1: So, I bought a new car last night and I didn't need a guy to help me pick it out or make the deal or anything.
Office bimbette #2: For reals? What kind did of car did you get?
Office bimbette #1: A blue one.
California Street
San Francisco, California
Office chick: I’m the coordinator for that program, so just holler if you get all tied up and need me to solicit someone for you.
14750 Miller Avenue
Fontana, California
Overheard by: Don’t pick me
Department Head: I need everyone to let me know a day ahead if they want to use the car and that means whether or not you’ll be late because of traffic.
Worker: But how will we know we are stuck in traffic until we are actually stuck?
Department Head: That’s why I need to know a day ahead of time whether you’ll be late because of traffic.
626 Coronado Terrace
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: james Landry
Office peon: It’s amazing what delicacies you can find hidden within the bush.
5757 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Boss: Yeah, he was into doing drugs — and not in the good way.
San Francisco, California
Irate boss on phone: What?! You're holding my order because of a past due invoice for $100? We spend thousands with our vendors! This is ridiculous! $100?! I wipe my ass with $100 bills!
San Carlos, California
Cube dweller: Wow, look what I learned today!
Senior VP: What?
Cube dweller: I made a pulldown list in Excel!
Senior VP: So you have a lot of free time?…If you have free time, you need to see me right away. I told you I have projects for you.
101 California Street
San Francisco, California
Coworker: Their phone number is 800-pfaucet.
Customer: Is that capitalized?
Chico, California
