Engineer: Is your boss in? We have a problem — we have a little Aryan friend up on the second floor.
QA tech: No, he’s on vacation… Wait — we have what?
Engineer: A little Aryan friend flying around on the second floor.
QA tech: … Ohhh — ‘avian.’
Engineer: Yeah, what did I say?
Modesto, California
Overheard by: That’s not my job.
Manager: Man, you guys from Alabama are hard-core putting someone getting the chair on the back of your quarter.
Boss from Alabama: That’s not someone getting the chair — that’s Helen Keller!
Manager: You guys electrocuted Helen Keller?!
Campus Point Drive
San Diego, California
Voice on PA: Can we get a customer service in the women’s room?
Safeway
Gilroy, California
Overheard by: mind in the gutter
Coworker: Every time he gets out of jail I end up pregnant.
Masonic Drive
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Nurse
Girl: I don’t care! I am all for police brutality. Seriously! I don’t care!
900 University Avenue
Riverside, California
Overheard by: i live too close to los angeles
Lawyer #1: Is ‘Rebel Yell’ on the CD? I sing that in the shower… And I find myself punching my fist up into the sky… in rebellion.
Lawyer #2: Wow.
Lawyer #1: My wife really enjoys it.
Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: AJF
High school senior #1: That’s an awesome bruise you’ve got there.
High school senior #2: Yeah, I punched a squid. You know that’s how we get ink? We squeeze them.
High school
Arcadia, California
Overheard by: Alleged pre-calc student
Coworker: Tell the intern to do that.
Boss: The intern? She has a name.
Coworker: You know who I meant.
Boss: It’s Rebecca*! Let’s not be racist.
Coworker: Interns aren’t a race!
Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
CEO: Anywho, it’ll make us look honest, at least, if we say we just won’t charge for that job. We don’t want to just out-and-tell them we fucked that one all to hell.
34921 Del Rio Drive
Ontario, California
Guy on phone: I’m single, I’m not tied-down, I’m Italian — what the fuck else do you want?
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: tmg
