California

Girl: I don’t care! I am all for police brutality. Seriously! I don’t care!

900 University Avenue
Riverside, California

Overheard by: i live too close to los angeles

Lawyer #1: Is ‘Rebel Yell’ on the CD? I sing that in the shower… And I find myself punching my fist up into the sky… in rebellion.
Lawyer #2: Wow.
Lawyer #1: My wife really enjoys it.

Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: AJF

High school senior #1: That’s an awesome bruise you’ve got there.
High school senior #2: Yeah, I punched a squid. You know that’s how we get ink? We squeeze them.

High school
Arcadia, California

Overheard by: Alleged pre-calc student

Coworker: Tell the intern to do that.
Boss: The intern? She has a name.
Coworker: You know who I meant.
Boss: It’s Rebecca*! Let’s not be racist.
Coworker: Interns aren’t a race!

Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

CEO: Anywho, it’ll make us look honest, at least, if we say we just won’t charge for that job. We don’t want to just out-and-tell them we fucked that one all to hell.

34921 Del Rio Drive
Ontario, California

Guy on phone: I’m single, I’m not tied-down, I’m Italian — what the fuck else do you want?

Cupertino, California

Overheard by: tmg

Man: Why are you allowing a day spa? I didn’t think you allowed day spas in this town. When you have day spas you attract people who get facials, and we don’t want those kinds of people in this town!

Redlands City Hall
Redlands, California

Coworker: I was in a car accident once, but it wasn’t my fault because I was asleep.

1855 South Grant Street
San Mateo, California

Overheard by: Not carpooling anymore

Boss: I want to put new labels on these binders. The labels must be capitalized and all face the same way. [Tilts head to the left, and then to the right] I am just not sure which way I want them to face. I don’t know if I prefer to tilt my head to the left, [tilts head again to the left], or if I prefer tilting to the right.

Santa Cruz, California

Woman to friend: I’m so going to hit you in the vagina for that!

950 Mission Street
San Francisco, California