Employee #1: It's okay, don't worry about it. Carmen is gonna get them eventually.
(long pause)
Employee #2: It's “karma,” dumbass!

Hawthorne, California

Overheard by: thanks, carmen.

Customer: Ummm… What's in a veggie sandwich?
(short pause)
Employee: Uh, veggies.
(short pause)
Customer: Oh. Okay. I'll have a veggie sandwich.

Subway Sandwich Shop
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: 'Chelle

Boss: He's going to either London or England. I'm not sure which.

Pasadena, California

Overheard by: Paper Pusher

Office grunt: … So then I said, ‘Bill*, just throw a bunch of monkeys in a container and have them eat all the bananas.’

1111 Broadway
Oakland, California

Publicist: It was amazing. Stevie could do everything. He could leave his apartment, go to the elevator, everything.
Proofer: Wow. He didn’t even need a cane?
Publicist: Of course not; he’s not that old.

1438 North Gower Street
Los Angeles, California

Accounting: You submitted a payment request for a renewal fee.
Peon: Yes.
Accounting: Can you find out how long the renewal term is for?
Peon: It says “annual renewal fee” on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, I saw that, but do you know when it’s valid until?
Peon: It says valid from October 31, 2005 on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, but can you make sure? You never know it could be for like two years or something.

3700 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Frazzled accountant: So yes, please mail me the statement ASAP! Yes, thanks, thanks. Okay, love you.
(after a minute, to peon)
Did I just say “I love you”?


Customer service girl eating from Christmas popcorn tin: Ew! These are sterile!

6141 Riverside Drive
Riverside, California

Overheard by: sylvie

Employee, singing on the way down the hall: I need to change my tammmmmponnnnn

Coalinga, California

Worker: Dammit! I got a paper cut! Agh!
Boss: Better than getting stabbed with a knife, stapled in the eye, or run over by the UPS truck.

9500 Owensmouth Avenue
Chatsworth, California